Some examples that I have personally encountered (or had local foster mama friends encounter) in the last six months or so:
I received a call for a 20-month old when Elmer was 18 months old. I said that I would accept the placement. I started asking questions, including if they already had the child in the office (often they are not there yet so it may take many hours before I am needed; and sometimes they don't actually end up needing placement in my home). "Well, actually he is already in another home now, but they felt he needed more one-on-one attention." Excuse me?! This is my personal licensing worker so she has been to my home for my licensing visits and is familiar with my situation.
I said, "Do you remember that I have an 18 month old in my home already?"
"Well, he definitely wouldn't be getting one-on-one attention, since that is such a demanding age."
"Well, that's just what the other foster family felt."
So I would think that, for the sake of that child, you should abide by that when trying to place that child. I ended up saying that I was not comfortable taking placement of that child unless I could talk to the previous foster family and/or caseworker and determine if it would be a good fit for the child. And they ended up finding another place.
My friend got her first foster placement of a 3-year old. After he had been with her for about a month, she knew they were having court and that there was a chance the child would be moved to the grandmother's home. She tried to prepare the child that morning and told him that he might be going to stay with his grandmother but that she would pick him up and tell him goodbye. She never heard anything from the caseworker, and then when she arrived at daycare to pick the child up, they told her that the caseworker had already come and picked him up to take him back to grandma. Of course she was devastated she couldn't say goodbye, but was also sad and worried that the child had been scared or traumatized because he didn't know what was going on. If it had been an infant, the child probably would not be affected one way or the other, but being that this child was three, he should have had a little smoother transition.
TT adopted Twin in Feb 2016, and then a new little girl (Spark) in Feb 2017. In January 2017, when Twin's half-sister came into care, TT requested placement with her so the two sisters could be together. It is pretty obvious this case will go to adoption as well, so shortly after Spark's adoption, TT called the adoption office to see what she needed to do to keep her adoption file current/up-to-date. The adoptions worker's response? "You know... we do like to give other people a chance at adoption!" Because it's about letting people adopt, not what is best for the child - to be placed with a sibling and ultimately to be adopted by the foster mom who she has been with since she came into care.
So in early September, when I decided that it was just not going to work with PB placed here and that I needed to request new placement for him, I was VERY hesitant and nervous. Especially because of the first situation that I described above. I did not want them to just find him a warm bed to get him out of here. Things were not so bad that he had to be moved "TODAY," so I wanted them to take the time to try to find a place that was going to be a good fit for both him and the family.
I made the request to his caseworker, who said I also needed to let my licensing/placement worker know. So I did (both via email and voice mail), on a Wednesday/Thursday. Sunday night I checked my email (I usually only check personal email once or twice a week) to find an email from the licensing worker that I needed to call his caseworker and she would then contact Foster Family Licensing and Support. Ok. I already did, and YOU are part of Foster Family and Licensing Support! So this is just the runaround. And then it was Labor Day. And then Hurricane Irma (almost) came through so all hands were on deck to make sure all the kids were taken care of for that. So over two weeks later, I emailed to check and make sure the placement change for PB was still in process (and hadn't gotten lost in the shuffle of everything else), and was told "We continue to search for new placement for him." And then a few hours later, the caseworker called to say she would be picking him up later that day.
Fast forward a few days when a new foster family posted in our Facebook group asking about daycare. I figured out that this was the family who got PB. And through private conversation, found out that they had been told he was 4 years old. When a 20 MONTH old arrived on their doorstep and their age range was actually 3-6 years, they said he could stay but they would give it 30 days and see how it went.
As of now (more than 30 days later), he is still in that home. But it makes me SICK to think that he might have to get uprooted AGAIN because someone either A) lied about his age to get him placed, knowing this family's range was 3-6 years, or B) took so little time to get the details about the situation that she didn't even check his file for his age.
Definitely NOT all about the kids.