The Adoption Process

I got a call in late January from someone from our Region's Adoption Services, saying that she needed to meet with  me and Elmer. 


We set up a meeting for the first Friday in February (Fridays are my day off and when I try to plan all the foster care meetings and doctor's appointments, etc.).  She didn't show up.  I called her 30 minutes after she was supposed to be here.  She made an excuse, but really, I was gathering that she just forgot to put it on her calendar. 


So we rescheduled for the next Friday at the same time that Elmer's caseworker would be doing her monthly visit.  The day before that meeting, the adoptions worker called and said she thought she was working her part-time job the following Friday but it was actually the Friday we had set up our meeting... so she needed to reschedule.


I couldn't do the following Friday (because it was Twin's adoption day) so we set up an evening that week.  Two hours before we were supposed to meet, I got a voice mail from the adoptions worker saying that she had another appointment at the same time that she had failed to put on her calendar so she would have to reschedule. 


At this point, I was hot.  We had three different appointments already set up, and three times she had to reschedule (or no-showed), not due to unforeseen circumstances or emergencies coming up, but rather due to her NOT WRITING THINGS DOWN ON HER CALENDAR and not being able to manage her schedule.  I was already anxious to get the ball rolling because I didn't want there to be any hold-up if the judge recommended termination of parental rights (TPR) at the next court date, which I figured would be in April or so.  (Since then, I have learned we are nowhere near close to that point yet.)  So I called and left a not-so-nice voice mail saying I wanted to make sure she had checked and re-checked and re-checked again her schedule to make sure that we actually had the meeting this time, as I had already arranged my schedule three different times for this meeting.  When she returned my call, she had the nerve to say, "Well, I am trying to get this done on YOUR schedule.  Evenings are more difficult." [We had only scheduled one evening - the others were Friday afternoons.]


We FINALLY were able to meet up the following week.  Basically all that was done was that she asked if I was interested in adoption, I said yes and signed a form stating that and that said all the pre-requisites had to be completed in 90 days, and the adoption worker asked if I had contacted Adoptions Services yet to get the process started.  I said, um, no, I thought that's what you were here for.  Apparently not.  She gave me the name and number of the person to contact and I rode her phone for several days until I got in contact with her.  During our meet-up, the adoptions worker also said that once rights were terminated, they would put me with 2-3 other families to a committee who would decide who the child would be adopted by.  That the foster family usually is the one chosen, but that there are no guarantees.  I knew that this would be said (several other foster families had told me this), but even so, it still makes your gut drop. 


Once I talked with the Adoptions Services office, they set me up to go to Adoptions Orientation shortly after.  I went to that meeting, which basically was a lot of things I already knew, or discussing requirements I already had done through the foster care licensing process. 


At this point, I have filled out the few pieces of paperwork that were not included in my foster care licensing, and have emailed Adoptions Services to determine if they need the rest of the requirements or if they can get them from my foster care licensing file. 


This whole adoptions process is completely separate from Elmer's actual case.  Even if all the adoptions requirements are completed does not mean that adoption would happen any time soon after.  The parental rights would have to be terminated first, which may be on a completely different time frame than the adoptions process. 


I've been fostering for almost two years now, and there are still things that I have no clue about!