1000 Days

As of today, Elmer has been in foster care for one thousand days.  That is entirely too long.  Especially for a case where the courts agreed to "forego all reasonable efforts" at just over 100 days in.

TPR trial was April 30th.  Mom tried to get it delayed by not showing up but her lawyer told her if she wanted to have any defense at all, she needed to get to the courthouse by the time her case was called. 

There are several cases scheduled for the same time and while the second was being heard, I was sitting in a pretty much empty lobby with only the caseworker and mom's lawyer.  I heard the phone conversation, in which mom's lawyer pretty much told her that she had no case.

"I'm a good lawyer, ma'am, but I'm not THAT good!"  

(When mom asked if there was anything she could do to get the case heard another day)… "I could go in there and tell the judge that you are on the phone crying, but that's going to go over like a fart in church!"

"You haven't DONE anything."

(When they asked about grandparents' rights so that the grandmother could get him)… "Ma'am, in South Carolina there are no grandparents' rights."

"He is in a stable home where he has been for the last 2 1/2 years and they want to adopt him."

"Your rights are going to be terminated today."

I mean, if your own lawyer is not even on your side, you obviously have absolutely no case.

Mom ended up showing up, got on the stand, and said she didn't feel she was currently in a state to be his parent but wanted her mom to have custody of him until she could get her life back together. 

Grandmother had been asked about taking Elmer back in January 2016 but declined to do so at that time.  DSS lawyer asked Grandmother when she got on the stand how often she has visited with Elmer.  She said she has been to visits "a few times." 

With very few people on the stand and very few questions during the trial, the judge ruled that rights would be terminated.  That by both the mother's and grandmother's own admissions, the mom is not able to be a parent right now.  That if she had not gotten herself together in the last 2 1/2 years, she was not likely to do so.  That it is not about what the mother wants or the grandmother wants, but what is in the best interest of the CHILD - and moving him from the only home he has ever known to a relative that he has only seen a "few" times would definitely not be in his best interest.  

So then we waited until the judge FINALLY got the TPR order signed about 2 weeks ago.  And now we wait 30 days after that to see if the parents will appeal.  I doubt that dad will... and I am hoping that mom won't, but expecting that she will...

I know that I have A LOT of catching up to do here.  One day I'll sit down to write more... Sierra is still here so life is definitely crazy busy!

Highs and Lows

I had been waiting for a TPR Trial since our last court date on September 15th. 

And I had been waiting specifically for it to be yesterday for the last two months.

During that time, I have been anticipating that the ruling would be "Termination of Parental Rights."  And for the last several weeks, every time I have thought about that, I have gotten sad.  I want nothing more than for this little boy to be mine forever.  But it makes me terribly sad that his parents' rights have to be taken away from them in order for that to happen.  I'm not saying that is not what SHOULD happen, because neither of them has shown any capability to be a safe and successful parent, either before Elmer was born or since then.  But the overwhelming emotion for me in recent weeks when thinking about Elmer's TPR has been sadness - both for his parents and for his loss of his biological parents.

{During that time, I also have been anticipating that at least Bio Mom will appeal the TPR ruling.}

So when I walked into the courtroom yesterday morning, listened to the DSS attorney say that the case was being continued because the parents' lawyers were not served in the required time frame, and walked out less than three minutes later with no progress made on this case, the sadness rushed over me for an entirely different reason.

I am sure that we won't have a new trial until at least April or May.  I am so ready for this baby to have permanency and to know that he is never leaving.  And there is NO EXCUSE for the lawyers not to be served.  Parents, sometimes you can't find them to serve them.  Lawyers not being served, someone just didn't do their job.

So I went back to work after a nice big ice cream sundae, and less than two hours later got a call asking if I was interested in taking placement of a four-week old baby girl when she is released from the hospital later this week.  I told the worker I would call her back in 10 minutes after I determined if I could figure out childcare until she could go to daycare at 6 weeks.  When I figured out that I would only need help for next week because she will be six weeks old by the following week, I called the worker back and told her "Yes!"

Now we are in a holding pattern to see when she will actually be released, I have told Elmer that a baby is coming, and I am waiting to hold a sweet baby girl in my arms.

Christmas letters

Every year, I write a letter summarizing my year to include with my Christmas cards.  As I was packing away my Christmas decorations, I came across the letter from last year.

"Elmer is still with me and is now almost 15 months old.  I am hoping to be able to adopt him.  Right now, we are waiting on the legal department to file for a court date for TPR (termination of parental rights) trial."

A year later, here is what my 2017 Christmas letter says.

"In terms of Elmer's status in foster care, a trial date for Termination of Parental Rights is set for February 5th. I feel fairly confident their rights will be terminated, but then the parents will have the right to appeal that decision, and it wouldn't surprise me if they did.  All my paperwork and approval has already been completed for me to adopt him, and I am hoping that will happen in 2018! (If the parents appeal, that probably won't happen, so all fingers/toes crossed that they don't appeal!)"

Has time just stood still for the last twelve months?!

TPR Trial Court Date, Take 2

Eight months ago, I posted that Elmer's TPR trial date was set for June 16th, 2017.

I had misunderstood at the time, and that date was actually for a TPR hearing.

Which then got "continued" until September 15th.

Which then the parents contested DSS's recommendation to terminate their parental rights. And Bio Mom requested the next court date be set for 3-6 months out so she could go to rehab, a request which the judge very quickly denied.

And here I am again posting that we have a TPR trial date set for February 5, 2018.  Almost five months from the last time we were in court, when the judge denied mom's request to delay trial for 3-6 months.

Neither bio parent has walked a straight and narrow path during the time Elmer has been in foster care, and both have made some poor decisions in the recent past.  So I am fairly certain the judge will rule that their rights will be terminated.  But then the parents have 30 days to appeal that ruling.  (And it is actually 30 days after the judge signs the paperwork, which is not always the day of court).  THAT is where the uncertainty comes in for me - I think there is at least a 50% chance that at least one parent will appeal.  I'm just hoping they don't and this child can get some permanency before his third birthday.

Pre-Adoptive Status

I went last week to sign paperwork to change Elmer's placement status from "foster home" to "pre-adoptive home."  That doesn't mean anything in terms of the progression of his legal case, or that anything has happened there to move us closer to adoption.  It just means that the primary goal of his case is TPR, DSS has filed a motion to the court to have a TPR trial, and that everything is in order for adoption once TPR is granted.

Apparently, it looks better at the TPR trial if DSS can say, "We have him placed in a pre-adoptive home - one that has bonded with him and desires to adopt him if parents' rights are terminated."

It means that I am the family that has been chosen for adoption. It means that once rights are terminated, I only have to sign a form and then I can proceed with getting a lawyer and filing for an adoption date.

What this meeting consisted of:
- The adoptions worker had written up a detailed summary of all of Elmer's information - behaviors, birth and other medical history, current functioning, sleep habits, etc.  And then had to verbally read it to me word for word.  (Funny how much of this information came directly from me, but yet they have to read it to me.)  I get why they have to do it that way - they don't want any adoptive family saying that they were not informed of a piece of information, or that they overlooked that piece in the written summary.  Many times, this meeting is the first time a potential adoptive family is getting any information on the child, and they have to decide whether to accept this child for adoption or not.
- The supervisor had a contract of what would happen after adoption, including continuing stipend, continuing Medicaid coverage, and all of the responsibilities of the adoptive family.  This document also had to be read verbally to me word for word.  Including phone numbers every time they were written out.
- Signing all of these documents, basically indicating that I have all this information, and I am willing to accept this child for a pre-adoptive placement.
- I also received two full manila envelopes of copies of all of Elmer's medical records (basically from the NICU).

Even though pretty much everything they read to me were pieces of information that I already knew, hearing some of the things in his history verbally read out loud, especially in summary form, hit me hard.  Made me sad for Elmer and all he had to endure before he came here.

I have not even tackled the medical information yet.  I want to read it word-for-word.  I'm sure I will have myself a good old cry over it, because my understanding is that there were times they were not sure if Elmer was going to live.

At least now I have a sigh of relief because it is official that I (and not someone else) would be the adoptive home once parental rights are terminated.

Still waiting on a court date for that to happen.

So Long

Elmer's TPR Hearing was again set for Sept 15th.

Bio dad did not come because he "couldn't get a ride."  Bio dad's lawyer wasn't there because of "traffic," but bio mom's lawyer had talked to BD's lawyer and would stand in.

BM named another placement option in court, including with name, phone number, and address... the paternal grandmother of Elmer's half-siblings (so, no blood relation to Elmer - and I thought to myself, "I'm just as much a relative as this person is, if not more so.")  The caseworker assured me they would not be moving Elmer there, even if she passed a home study.  {And turned out that when the caseworker called the "relative" to set up a case study, she said she was not interested in being a placement option.}

DSS moved for parents' rights to be terminated (TPR).  BM and BD contested.  Which means now it has to go to a trial for the judge to decide if rights will be terminated or not.  BM's lawyer said that BM was planning on going to rehab that day, and requested the TPR trial to be set 3-6 months out.  The judge did not pause even a second and said, "No, ma'am."

I thought that of course, in reality, the trial will likely be at least 3 months out anyway because it seems to take at least that long to get something on the docket.  As of now, a trial date still hasn't been set, so looks like I was right.

So still we sit here and wait.

Court Continued

We had Elmer's TPR Hearing court date on June 16.  The week before, his caseworker asked if I had heard anything from his mom, and said that when they tried to serve her at the address on file, someone said she didn't live there and they didn't have a current address.  (The address is her mom's house, so... yeah, right... they didn't have a current address!  And then when the caseworker finally got in touch with mom a couple of days before court, she gave the exact same address they already had on file!) 

So court was already continued (cancelled for that day) because they were unable to serve the mom.  But then there was also an issue with the state-appointed lawyers of mom and dad, so they had to get that straightened out as well.  So I think that court would have been continued no matter what. 

Mom ended up showing up about 15 minutes after court was over.  We talked, and she wanted to know if I would let her see Elmer if I adopted him.  I told her that as long as she was clean, sober, and safe, that I would allow contact.  She also asked if I would change Elmer's name.  I did not want to discuss this before the actual adoption, but I wasn't going to lie to her face, so I told her that yes, I would probably change his name.  (Separate post about the name change to come.)  She mentioned that bio dad says, "That's my Junior" but I mentioned that even if I didn't change his first name, his last name would change and so either way he would no longer be a Junior.  Mom also told me the street she lives on and a pretty good description of the house, and it is about five minutes from my house, so I am going to drive by and see if I can get an alternate address for Legal to use to serve mom next time. 

So now we wait... again... for another TPR Hearing date.  And I anticipate that parents will contest the TPR at that hearing, which would mean that we would have to go to a TPR trial.  Such a long process for a case where the parents never had a treatment plan!

 

Correction to TPR date

Remember when I posted that Elmer's TPR trial date was going to be June 16th?  I was wrong.  That is his TPR HEARING date.  So if either of his parents show up and contest DSS's recommendation to terminate rights, then there will have to be a separate court date to have a TPR TRIAL (I'm guessing probably 3-6 months later, based on recent history of how things have progressed with mine and other cases).  If the parents don't show up, the caseworker said they may be able to proceed with having the trial on June 16th and terminating rights. 

I had gotten excited thinking that we actually may have an adoption date this calendar year, but now it's looking again like we probably won't. 

TPR Trial Court Date

The day after I wrote my last post, I got a notice in the mail

that the court date

for Elmer's TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) Trial

will be June 16th. 

Court

I am so far behind and have so many posts swimming around in my head (or on the draft table), but at least wanted to give an update of the Permanency Planning Trial. 

Last we left off, we were waiting on a court date for a repeat Permanency Planning Trial. That date was finally set for March 1st, and I planned to attend.  I typically do, but the last court date I was unable to go, and that was when weird things happened that no one could really explain.  Foster Care Review Board was also scheduled for the afternoon of March 1st so I pretty much just took the whole day off. 

We were the first case called.  Dad's lawyer was there, and apparently mom's lawyer had asked to be relieved from the case (the second lawyer that has done so).  But neither dad nor mom showed up.  (Seriously?!  If I were having a court hearing that concerned my child, I don't care how confident I was that things were going to go my way, or how convinced I was that things weren't.... whether I had a lawyer or not... my butt would be in that courtroom!)

The trial took all of five minutes, and the goal was changed to TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) only!  Now we are still waiting on a court date for a trial to actually determine if the rights are terminated. 

Foster Care Review Board also took all of about 10 minutes.  They presented the case, nothing really has changed, and they still recommended termination of parental rights.  (But remember, FCRB really has no weight in that decision, beyond what weight the judge wants to give it when he considers the case.)

And I found out later that mom had shown up for FCRB, but 30 minutes late, after everything was over.  I'm not sure why she showed up to that but not to court, but it's all part of "logic in my world and yours is totally different..." 

Music Monday: Held

Elmer walks into the kitchen and says, "Mama, mama..."


Later that night, I cry because I am scared and anxious. 


I had thought that we were waiting on a trial date for TPR.  But last week, his caseworker told me that we basically have to have the exact same court hearing that we had in August.  The one where they had made the permanency planning goal concurrent reunification and TPR/adoption.  The one where I couldn't understand how reunification was even a potential goal since the parents have no treatment plan and DSS is "foregoing all reasonable efforts to reunite."  Now she is telling me that before we can proceed to a TPR trial, we have to get the permanency goal changed to be TPR/adoption only.  I get that, but what I do not get is why this did not happen in August.  Nothing has changed, and they were actually less of parenting candidates in August than they are now.  Which makes me nervous and scared and anxious.  Because Elmer's parents visited with him four times in the first nine months he was with me, but they have now been very consistent with visits for the last three months. 


Me to caseworker: So basically the court hearing in August was a waste of time and we are back to the same spot we were in then?
Caseworker to me: Exactly!  I tried to tell the lawyer that then, but he wouldn't listen.  (Now the county has a new attorney.)


So we have been legally stagnant for the last seven months, with no set court date for the next step yet. 


I am scared.  I worry that even though from the very first merits hearing over a year ago when the plan was to forego all reasonable efforts to reunite with parents, that a judge may look at the current situation and say, "But why didn't they get a treatment plan?  But now we need to give these parents a chance."


It's a fine line knowing that the goal of foster care is reunification, and also knowing what I know about this case. 


Do I think that Elmer's parents could be safe and appropriate parents at this moment in time?  It's definitely a possibility.  Do I think that Elmer's parents could be safe and appropriate parents consistently for the next 16 years and 8 months?  It would take a miracle.  Do I think that Elmer's parents deserve another chance given their past history and given the fact that they set him up in life with all the cards stacked against him?  No.


But I have no clue how a judge is going to see it.  And so I'm scared. 


And then for some reason the thought pops in my head that until Elmer was a few months old, he never was completely settled unless he was being held. 


I need to be held, too.  And I can be.  I pray that I will let myself be held by the Creator, so I can be settled and let go of my anxiety and fear. 

To think that providence would

take a child from his mother while she prays, it's appalling.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held

The case will turn out the way it will turn out, and I know God has a master plan in it all.  No matter what, both moms will need to be held because we both experience loss.

"You [Are/Are Not] the Father!"

Several weeks ago Elmer's caseworker (JATH) contacted me saying that there was a man who said he had had relations with Elmer's mom around the time of conception and that he may be Elmer's father.  He said that he had been in contact with Elmer's mom when Elmer was very young and had seen pictures of him then.  He said Elmer bore a striking resemblance to his family, who are all blond haired and blue-eyed.  (This put me somewhat at ease because although Elmer had had a fair complexion - and no hair so could have been any color - when he was very young, after the summer his complexion had darkened and his hair had come in a brown color.) 


So my question was: If he had known that Elmer existed since he was very young, where had this potential "father" been for the last year?!  I could almost get on board with this man taking custody of him if he was actually the father, and if he had had no clue that there was a baby until recently.  (Don't get me wrong, it would have COMPLETELY devastated me, and I would definitely have some serious grieving to do.)  But this person should have no bearing on Elmer's life at this point if he knew about Elmer and chose to ignore him for a full year. 


But he is biological family, and he does.  If this man was the dad, then that would introduce a whole different set of people as factors to Elmer's case - if he or any of his family were willing and capable/safe to care for Elmer, then DSS would move him to them without too many questions asked.  The fact that I have been caring for him for a year at this point and that I am the only home/mother he has ever known would not matter.


So Elmer had to have a DNA test to see if this person was his biological father. 


Meanwhile, I am torn up and stressed, but trying not to really think about it so that I wouldn't get too stressed.  Trying NOT to think about the "what if's". 


And then I got a text from the JATH saying


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


The man is NOT Elmer's biological father!




An instantaneous wave of relief came over me and I burst into tears.  So glad that I do not have to deal with a new set of unknowns! 


Now we still wait for the county's legal department to file for a TPR (termination of parental rights) trial with the court.  From my understanding, we have been waiting on this very thing since August. 


Patience. 


Patience.

Permanency Planning Trial

Court for permanency planning for Elmer's case was scheduled for August 22.  It was "Standby Case B", meaning it would get heard if there was still time after the main case and Standby Case A. 


For "hearings," each case is on the docket for 15 minutes only, so any contested matters - i.e. if DSS and the family cannot agree - are "continued" for trial. For trials, they will take as much time as needed to present the evidence and for the judge to make a decision.  Hence, sometimes the standby cases get heard on trial day, and sometimes they don't.


Court was planned for a workday for me (the hearings are usually on Fridays, a day that I don't typically work). I had just been out of work sick for ten days a couple of weeks before, so I decided not to take more time off of work for a case that might or might not get heard. 


In the end, the case WAS heard and the caseworker texted me that they got the agreement that the plan would be TPR concurrent with reunification so that the parents would agree.  She said that DSS was still planning on going through with the TPR. 


I wish that I had been there so that I could have seen how things progressed to end up at that point.  I thought that because this was a TRIAL, that it was up to the judge to make a decision and that they didn't need to have the parents agree.  So I don't know if the judge just felt sorry for the parents and so said reunification would be a concurrent goal; or if it was just easier to proceed if the parents agreed; or if this is TRULY a concurrent goal. 


I have had a couple of people ask how those two things could be concurrent goals since they are polar opposites.  It actually is common to have those two goals together.  Meaning, the goal is reunification (as it almost always is in foster care), but knowing that there are often times when the parents can't get it together and so there is a backup goal of TPR/adoption - and all the preparation for the adoption side of things is done if the reunification does not work out.  I understand the concurrent goal as a general concept.  However, in this particular case, I have a hard time wrapping my head around reunification still being any sort of goal, since the parents don't have a treatment plan and agreed to "forego all reasonable efforts to reunite."  So then why is reunification still written down on paper?

Case Update

Court was June 17th. 


This was both a merits hearing for dad (because he had not shown up the first two times, but court was continued due to the fact that he had a lawyer there), and a permanency planning hearing (to determine what the long-term case plan is). 


As far as the merits hearing, dad was present (maybe not of his own will) and did not contest that DSS was not offering him a treatment plan.  However, they did stipulate that dad could complete treatment on his own. 


As far as permanency planning, DSS recommended the permanency goal be changed to TPR and adoption.  Both parents contested that.  Because it was contested, now there has to be a permanency planning TRIAL for both sides to present testimony and the judge to decide what the permanency plan should be.  (As of right now, I have not heard a trial date.) 


* I did not know that there was a separate permanency planning HEARING and TRIAL.  I do remember a note on one of the previous court notices for another child, saying, "This is scheduled for 15 minutes.  Any contested matters will be continued for trial."  I will say that every time I go to court, I seem to learn something new.  At some point when I feel like I know enough to do so, I want to write a post summarizing the legal process and all of the things that can happen. *


And in the midst of the discussion about permanency planning, the bomb was dropped.  Elmer's mom has named two more relatives that need to be investigated to see if they are feasible placements.  Ugh.  Where were these relatives nine months ago?!  My guess is that they were not willing to take him when there was potential for him to have issues, and now that he is "fine", they are okay with it.  (Or I hope - selfishly - that maybe they are still not okay with it, and mom is just trying to buy time.) 


And it's now a month later, and I haven't heard any more information one way or the other about these other two relatives - if home studies have been completed, what the results were if they have, or if they have declined home studies (as at least one of the other relatives in the past did).

Meet Elmer

For anyone new to the blog, this is 7-month old Elmer. 

7-month old with a high-risk history who has just started getting up on his hands and knees, and who has just learned to purposefully put his bib up over his face and pull it back down to play peek-a-boo. 

7-month old who is now one of the most "chill" babies I have ever seen, but once was a 6-week old who was never fully settled. 

7-month old who smiles all. the. time. but whose adorable smile I can't show you.  :(

Elmer is the fifth foster child that has been placed with me.  He is the first one that has had a primary plan of adoption.  The next step is another merits hearing that will be scheduled for dad in June sometime (he has not showed up for the first two).  The caseworker thinks they will be asking for recommendation of TPR (termination of parental rights) as well during that court date.  This case is going on way too long for one where the parents aren't even being given a treatment plan.

Four Months with Elmer

I am planning to do a series of more detailed posts on the following items, but I wanted to go ahead and give a quick update since I have been a bad blogger lately. 


A couple of days ago marked four months since Elmer was placed with me, and three days longer than I have had any other baby. 


Developmentally, he is doing GREAT.  He is ahead of his age with pretty much all his milestones.  He belly laughs all the time! 


Medically, he has still struggled with ear infections and just last week, the doctor decided to proceed with ear tubes in a few weeks.


As far as the case goes, I am hoping to be able to adopt him.  Bio Mom was not offered a treatment plan, and has been to court during which she agreed to this.  Bio Dad did not show up to that court date in January, nor to the previous court date that was held before Elmer was placed with me, so he still has not had his merits hearing.  They have to have that before they can recommend termination of parental rights... I'm not sure how many times Bio Dad has to not show up before they move on without him. 


He is so happy now - always smiling.  And he is so chill - he hardly ever cries unless he is tired or hungry.  I long ago fell head over heels in love with him.  He's such a sweet and fun baby to have around, and I hope things stay that way forever. 

Relatives and Court

I had gotten a text a few weeks ago saying that Elmer's parents had named a relative that may take him. 


On Friday, January 8, I received a phone call from the guardian ad litem (GAL) asking how Elmer was doing.  I'm sure it was no coincidence that court was the following Monday. 




Side note: From what I have read on others' blogs, I believe in some states the GAL is a lawyer.  In this state, the GAL is a volunteer from the community who is supposed to talk to everyone and determine what is in the best interest of the child. 


She told me that the relative that was possibly going to take Elmer had backed out, and so she wasn't sure that court would even be held. 


I showed up anyway on Monday, January 11, and his mom was there.  In the list of things in the agreement, I noticed that it did not include the standard "will maintain stable housing, submit to random drug screens, attend parenting classes, etc".  I found out on Friday, January 15 when JATH visited our home that was because Elmer's parents were not going to have a treatment plan.  I was a little blown away by that, as it seems parents often get way too many chances, but I am not sure if the parents declined a treatment plan or if DSS would not offer one. 


In court, I also learned that a homestudy would be done on one of Elmer's relatives.  At first, I thought this was the same relative who was going to take him from the NICU and then changed their mind.  At JATH's visit, I learned that this is now a different relative.  Even so, all I can think is, "Where has this person been for the last almost three and a half months?!"  And I'm still not clear on if this is a different relative from the one the GAL thought had backed out, or if the GAL was just mistaken in thinking they had backed out. 


JATH told me on Friday that they are still trying to get in touch with the relative to set up the homestudy.  They did not call it an "expedited" homestudy, so I think DSS has 60 days to complete it?  So now we just wait and see what happens.

Update

The week of Christmas, I got a text from Elmer's caseworker (blog name JATH - Joined at the Hip, as she always comes to home visits with a specific one of the other caseworkers) asking if she could come pick him up the next day for a visit with his parents.  (Less than two weeks before, she told me that the parents had had no contact with DSS yet.)  I was working and couldn't go to the visit, so I asked her to touch base with me to let me know how the visit went and also what was going on with the parents; I did not hear back from her until today. 


Court is on Monday.  (My understanding is that it is a merits hearing; she keeps calling it a "trial."  So I don't know exactly what to expect.)  I plan to go - even with Sunshine (the most communicative caseworker we have had), I learned SO MUCH new information at court. 


JATH also told me today (via text) that the parents "have named a relative that may be willing to take Elmer in."  So we will see what happens with that. 

Merits Hearing

(I said in this post that the Probable Cause hearing was when the treatment plan for the parent was determined.  I was wrong; sometimes they both happen at the same time, but usually there is a separate Merits Hearing to establish a legal treatment plan.)

I attended the Merits Hearing this morning.  I learned that it is best to attend court hearings if possible because you can learn so much about the case.  This proved to be a challenge this morning as daycare was closed today due to torrential rains and flood potential; a previous co-worker that lives close to court was able to keep Tigger for me while I was at court. 

What I learned is that it is not likely Tigger will be with me much longer.  His neighbor has requested to be considered for official placement so they are completing an expedited home study (meaning it has to be done in the next thirty days).  (At first, I wondered why she would call DSS about this child and then request to get him back; but I guess at this point he would still be in foster care and mom would have to follow DSS guidelines and supervision.)  They are also completing a home study on Tigger's maternal aunt who lives in another state.  It sounds like mom has requested that he be placed with the neighbor so that she can still see him.  Dad is out of the picture and not capable of caring for Tigger.  From everything the investigator said about the situation with the neighbor when Tigger was removed, I don't have any reason to believe she won't pass her home study. 

I will be so sad to see him go, but glad that I went to court and learned that his leaving is a definite possibility in the near future so that I can prepare myself emotionally for that possibility. 

Court Date

I found out today that court for Evie's family is set for June 26.  So we are basically at the same point where we were in January before the new issue came up - where everyone was recommending the kids go home, and we were just waiting on the court date and the judge to say that was ok.  The difference is that in January, I was mentally and physically planning for Evie to leave; now, I will believe she's going when the judge makes that decree.  Hopefully her mom can hold it together for the sake of her kids!