So Much About Sierra

Well, I have fallen off the blog wagon again...Sierra has been here for almost seven months now, and I haven't really written about her.
Sierra was finally able to come home on February 22, after I initially received the placement call on February 5, thinking she would be released on Feb 7 or 8.  Thankfully I was able to go visit with her periodically during that 2 1/2 weeks.

Her sleeping has always been difficult.  Initially she was in my room in a bassinet because I didn't want her waking Elmer in the middle of the night, but I quickly moved her to another room because she kept me up pretty much all night.  She would grunt and lightly/briefly fuss and move, often making me think that she was waking up and wanting to eat.  I soon realized that she was just a very restless sleeper and I couldn't sleep well with that.  Now at eight months, she continues to wake 1-3 times a night for comfort; and to eat somewhere between 3:15 and 5:30.

She also has had some eating issues.  Initially something was definitely not typical with her eating. She would not continue eating a bottle consistently - would stop often and would seem to struggle at times. If she was eating well and I would stop to burp her, then she would have lost interest when I tried to feed her again.  Sometimes she would only eat two ounces at once.
She had RSV shortly after coming to me, which affected her desire to eat as well.  The doctor was concerned about her weight gain, so I had to take her in for a weight check a few weeks after her two month checkup.  (Now she is probably 20 pounds and has sumo thighs - no concern about weight now!)
When I tried to start cereal at around 4 1/2 months, she gagged on it.  I pursued because some babies have a hard time at first, but she never got it.  Then I tried squash and bananas, and she gagged on those, too.  I talked with my friend who is a feeding therapist and she gave me some suggestions to have her gnaw on carrot sticks, celery sticks, and/or hard pizza crust to bring her gag reflex farther back in her mouth.  From there, I basically took a path of using baby-led weaning, and Sierra quickly began eating most table foods (except some fruits).  Now she eats better than Elmer some nights!

She has had many ear infections, and finally got ear tubes a few weeks ago.  They are still draining so I think she still has some pain with them, which may be at least part of the reason she still wakes in the night.  (She also has four teeth now, so I think teething is some of the reason, too).

She has met her milestones ahead of schedule - she rolled back to stomach at almost 4 months, got up on hands and knees at almost 6 months, started crawling at 7 1/2 months and is now pulling up to standing at everything.  She went to the NICU follow-up clinic when she was 5 months old and they had no concerns except the possible feeding issues.

Currently she is a very happy baby.  She pretty much never cries if she is being held.  (Of course, I can't hold her just anytime she wants to since I have a 2 year old to take care of, too!)  She thinks Elmer is the best and just laughs with him!  Recently he has started "wrestling" with her - sometimes I think it's too rough and try to tell him to be gentle, but she is pretty much telling him it's okay because she is cracking up, so my words don't sink in.

We have had some legal steps happen, but I think this is enough for one post, so I will make another post about all those things!  Also things happening with Elmer which I need to post about!

Life is Hard Right Now

These two sure can be cute! 

Snack break in their matching swim trunks at the pool

Banging on my bedroom door

But in reality, THIS is a more accurate snapshot of what life is like right now:

Elmer sing-songing "pizza, pizza" on the way home from my friend's house because we had had pizza there for dinner... and PB screaming intermittently the entire twenty minute drive home. 

Overall PB cries and tantrums a lot throughout the day.  He does not like the car - he intermittently screams every minute or two on most car rides, and is usually pulling at the shoulder straps of the seat, or pulling at his shoes when he does so.  I think he was probably rarely in a car seat - whether that be because he never went anywhere in a car, or whether because he was in a car but not made to be in a seat. 

He has no words other than "mama," "ball," and "uh-oh."  (And I am not convinced that he hasn't picked up those last two words since he has been here.)  But even more importantly, his attempts at non-verbal communication are virtually non-existent.  For example, we were at brunch yesterday and I took a fork out of his hand.  Just to get it out of the way, not because he couldn't have it.  He did not resist my taking the fork... but he did turn around in his seat and start screaming and having a tantrum.  Obviously he wanted the fork. But he made no attempt to communicate that before having a tantrum.  Most kids would first resist the fork being taken, then reach for the fork, then maybe fuss about it, and finally have a tantrum if they were still not getting the fork back.  He just jumps right for a tantrum.  Maybe in the past that was the only way that he ever got anything.  Maybe he knew that if something got taken away, he was never going to get it back so he might as well have a meltdown. 

If PB doesn't get what he wants immediately, or if I provide any direction whatsoever, he screams and throws out, including at times jumping, throwing his head back (and hitting it on the floor if I don't protect his fall), head-banging, or throwing himself into a wall.

A lot of his screaming centers around food.  If he sees food and is not getting it (like when I am trying to put leftovers on a plate and heat them up for dinner), he screams.  Or if I give the boys a snack in the car, PB devours his quickly but then gets mad and screams when he sees Elmer still with food and doesn't have any.  I assume that he probably didn't get food regularly, so when it was available, you better eat it fast because you never knew when the next meal was coming.

I have tried to take them outside, but it is stressful for me and usually not safe.  PB will run away and think it is funny when I try to get him (even if I just walk casually over to where he is rather than chase him).  And he is FAST, so it is not ok to let him wander too far just to see how far he would go, and I do usually end up having to run after him by the time it is all said and done.  (He was taken into DSS custody because he was found wandering, so I really don't think he would care about where I was, and would just keep going without any regard for me.)  And then when I go to get PB, Elmer usually thinks it is funny to run in the opposite direction.  I live in a townhouse so there is no fence, so it is just not safe to have them outside when they do that. 

Bedtime is rough.  I used to be able to just put Elmer down and he goes right to sleep.  But PB does not self-soothe well, and screams off and on, while tossing and turning for usually 20-30 minutes, and usually ends up crying straight for several minutes and I have to go up and help him situate himself before he can go to sleep. 

And they fight!  But not just toddler fighting over toys.  PB is very aggressive - bites, pulls hair, and/or tackles to get the toy he wants.  (I am realizing Elmer is pretty aggressive, too, but not to that extent.)

PB has had upper respiratory congestion pretty much the whole time since he arrived, and has coughed so much in the night that he has thrown up at one point.  Other nights he has not been able to go back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night, for up to 2 hours.  And the two have woken each other up at times (because of the coughing or otherwise).  Sleep has been hard to come by pretty much the entire last two weeks.

Things have already started to get a little better in some areas, and I'm hoping that as he is here longer, things will start to smooth out even more.   

PB

Last Wednesday at around midnight, I received a voicemail for a placement of a 1-year old and 5-year old.  I called the placement worker back on Wednesday morning and said that I could take the 1-year old if she hadn't found placement.  She had found someone to take them for the night, but was still looking for a permanent place for them.  She said the plan was for me to take the 1-year old if she couldn't find a permanent place for the two together, which she ended up being able to do. 

But when another one-year old came into care on Thursday, I think I was probably one of the first people she contacted since I had just said I would take a one-year old the day before.  I said I could take him, and around 5:45 that afternoon, "PB" (for "Peek-a-Boo" because he loves to play peekaboo and just laughs when he does) arrived from a county 1 1/2 hours away.  He is three months younger than Elmer but just as active. 

When I was getting the boys ready for bed, he climbed INTO the pack n play, which I figured did not bode well for him staying in it during the night.  And when it was bedtime and I walked out of the room, as suspected, he immediately climbed out of the pack n play and tried to open the bedroom door.  I did end up getting him settled that night into the pack n play, and he slept all night, but decided that even though he was only 17 months old, he would have to go into a toddler bed the next night.  One of my patients' moms had just given me a toddler bed a week or two before, so I was able to get it set up the next day.  He has mostly stayed in the bed, although getting to sleep has been a little rough (he usually tosses and turns for about 20-30 minutes, and often cries off and on as well). 

The boys have gotten along pretty well.  The first few days, they REALLY fought over toys, including some pushing, hitting, hair pulling, and biting; but this has improved in the last few days. 

PB didn't cry (except for bedtime) for pretty much the first two days.  Now he cries A LOT!  He is very easily frustrated and angered when he does not get his way (or even when he does not get something he wants IMMEDIATELY when he wants it), and jumps and throws himself on the floor.  This morning it was because I made him back up a little so I could get the gate open at the top of the stairs for us all to be able to go down them.  He doesn't say any words, other than "mama," so I'm sure this has something to do with his frustration level. 

He is really really cute, and smiles and laughs at times (especially when playing peekaboo), but is also very emotionally labile (totally as expected for this age). 

This Tuesday, PB coughed in his sleep so much that he ended up throwing up a little, so on Wednesday afternoon I took him to the After-hours pediatric clinic.  They said there was fluid on his ears, but no infection - yet.  (And then when we were at the pediatrician's office this morning, he said the ears were "about" to get infected so wrote a prescription for antibiotic.  Elmer was also checked on Wednesday (because he had had a low-grade fever on Tuesday afternoon), and both ears were infected again! First in 2 1/2 months, but still very frustrating.  So we have had a rough couple of nights sleeping-wise!

Overall, we are settling in!  I talked to the caseworker today, who doesn't have a whole lot of information.  But I have a feeling he will be here for a good while. 

This is Foster Care

Getting a call at 4:30 and responding that you will accept the placement.  Being told that the caseworker will call with more information.  The caseworker does not call, but finally shows up at the door at 8:30 with the child.  This is foster care.   (At least the child is the age that I was told... I've heard stories of a 6 year old showing up when they said they would accept a 2 year old!)

A little 22-month old who is scared to walk into a house.  Hugsy (the new little boy) resisted walking into both my mom's house and daycare on Monday morning (which was converted from a house), and made me pick him up.  The last time you walked into a house with the person you were most familiar with (the investigative caseworker), she left you with a complete stranger and didn't come back, so you don't really trust walking into a strange house anymore.  This is foster care. 

Hugsy crying in his sleep, which then wakes up Elmer, who points to the crib and says, "Happy...happy!" (wanting Hugsy to be Happy).  Elmer crying because I have to go take food off of the stove, which then wakes Hugsy up.  And then finally just putting a comforter in the middle of their floor and lying down with one on either side so they would both go back to sleep.  This is foster care.

Less than 72 hours after the child arrives, the caseworker picks him up and takes him back home after the probable cause hearing because the judge rules that there was NOT probable cause to remove the children.  This is foster care.  (At least I was told they were picking him up and was able to say goodbye.)

Friday Favorites (on Sunday): Our Crazy Week

Linking up a little late this week, because, well....

From Sunday to Thursday this past week, Elmer and/or I were at doctor's offices four out of the five days.  This week my FAVORITE is antibiotics! 

We ended the week with matching Amoxicillin prescriptions.  The Friday before, Elmer had gotten his four-month vaccinations and ran a low-grade fever on Saturday but I didn't think much about it.  Saturday night, he woke up every 3 1/2 hours, right before he was due for more Tylenol; he started pulling at his ears; and was obviously in pain.  So Sunday we went to the local peds after-hours clinic, where the doctor couldn't see his eardrums, even after irrigating them (and causing the happiest baby ever to become a screaming mess for 15 or more minutes).  So she decided to do nothing since he already had an appointment on Wednesday with the ENT.  Well, we didn't make it that far because Tuesday morning Elmer woke up with a bloody ear, which the pediatrician confirmed that morning as a ruptured eardrum (along with an infection in the other ear).  Wednesday, we went to ENT.  All the while both of us not getting much sleep.  Which led to (I'm sure) my immune system being weak, combined with germy doctor's offices three out of four days, and a trip to Urgent Care on Thursday for me with a diagnosis of strep throat. 

It's been a crazy week for us, but those antibiotics sure have made both of us feel SO much better!

Friday Favorites

I'm trying a link-up this week! 



One.

First up, my Tigers!  I was so excited to see them go to the National Championship game!  My sister Red and I got a sitter and went to a friend's house to watch the game.  It was the perfect environment for game-watching - all Tiger fans, loud, 80-inch TV (among five other TV's), good food and good company.  I was hoping to "Party Like it's 1981" but those boys gave it their all and made it a great game to watch.  Nothing to be ashamed of in that performance.  And we'll be back.

Two.

Sleep!  I'm crossing my fingers that we have found the formula to getting Elmer to sleep all night.  I started giving him bigger bottles during the day, so I think he is more full to sleep at night.  (I had been hesitant to increase the bottle size with the amount that he spits up, but it doesn't seem to be any more now than with smaller bottles.)  This morning, it was glorious to see "Sleep Goal Met" (8 hours) on my F!tb!t.  Granted, it was a five-hour stretch and a three-hour stretch added up, but I can't remember the last time I slept a total of eight hours in a night! 

Three.

Meeting milestones!  Elmer rolled all the way from his back to his stomach one time this week for me, but had his arm under him and pushed himself right back over to his back.  But the daycare says he has been rolling over to his stomach a lot there.  Less than four months old for rolling is a SUPER age to meet that milestone.  Since he is high risk for developmental delay due to his history, I'm so glad that he is meeting milestones early. 

Four.

Belly laughs!  Elmer has started belly laughing, and there is no more precious sound than that.  You can't help but laugh along when it happens. 

Five.

Adoption Day!  TT got a date for Twin's adoption.  I'm so excited for the two of them!  



Memo

To: Elmer
From: Resort Management Staff


Earlier this week, we sent out a memo that our sleeping schedule had changed to 9:00pm to 6:30am.  We assumed you received this memo as you were compliant for five nights in a row.  However, last night it appears we may have inadvertently sent out an additional memo to return to the schedule from when you first arrived of awaking every four hours.  If so, please disregard that memo and be advised that the correct sleeping schedule is 9:00pm to 6:30am.  Dining is no longer available between the hours of 10pm and 6am.  We appreciate your attention to this matter.