Saturday, November 4, 2017

Pre-Adoptive Status

I went last week to sign paperwork to change Elmer's placement status from "foster home" to "pre-adoptive home."  That doesn't mean anything in terms of the progression of his legal case, or that anything has happened there to move us closer to adoption.  It just means that the primary goal of his case is TPR, DSS has filed a motion to the court to have a TPR trial, and that everything is in order for adoption once TPR is granted.

Apparently, it looks better at the TPR trial if DSS can say, "We have him placed in a pre-adoptive home - one that has bonded with him and desires to adopt him if parents' rights are terminated."

It means that I am the family that has been chosen for adoption. It means that once rights are terminated, I only have to sign a form and then I can proceed with getting a lawyer and filing for an adoption date.

What this meeting consisted of:
- The adoptions worker had written up a detailed summary of all of Elmer's information - behaviors, birth and other medical history, current functioning, sleep habits, etc.  And then had to verbally read it to me word for word.  (Funny how much of this information came directly from me, but yet they have to read it to me.)  I get why they have to do it that way - they don't want any adoptive family saying that they were not informed of a piece of information, or that they overlooked that piece in the written summary.  Many times, this meeting is the first time a potential adoptive family is getting any information on the child, and they have to decide whether to accept this child for adoption or not.
- The supervisor had a contract of what would happen after adoption, including continuing stipend, continuing Medicaid coverage, and all of the responsibilities of the adoptive family.  This document also had to be read verbally to me word for word.  Including phone numbers every time they were written out.
- Signing all of these documents, basically indicating that I have all this information, and I am willing to accept this child for a pre-adoptive placement.
- I also received two full manila envelopes of copies of all of Elmer's medical records (basically from the NICU).

Even though pretty much everything they read to me were pieces of information that I already knew, hearing some of the things in his history verbally read out loud, especially in summary form, hit me hard.  Made me sad for Elmer and all he had to endure before he came here.

I have not even tackled the medical information yet.  I want to read it word-for-word.  I'm sure I will have myself a good old cry over it, because my understanding is that there were times they were not sure if Elmer was going to live.

At least now I have a sigh of relief because it is official that I (and not someone else) would be the adoptive home once parental rights are terminated.

Still waiting on a court date for that to happen.