"You [Are/Are Not] the Father!"

Several weeks ago Elmer's caseworker (JATH) contacted me saying that there was a man who said he had had relations with Elmer's mom around the time of conception and that he may be Elmer's father.  He said that he had been in contact with Elmer's mom when Elmer was very young and had seen pictures of him then.  He said Elmer bore a striking resemblance to his family, who are all blond haired and blue-eyed.  (This put me somewhat at ease because although Elmer had had a fair complexion - and no hair so could have been any color - when he was very young, after the summer his complexion had darkened and his hair had come in a brown color.) 


So my question was: If he had known that Elmer existed since he was very young, where had this potential "father" been for the last year?!  I could almost get on board with this man taking custody of him if he was actually the father, and if he had had no clue that there was a baby until recently.  (Don't get me wrong, it would have COMPLETELY devastated me, and I would definitely have some serious grieving to do.)  But this person should have no bearing on Elmer's life at this point if he knew about Elmer and chose to ignore him for a full year. 


But he is biological family, and he does.  If this man was the dad, then that would introduce a whole different set of people as factors to Elmer's case - if he or any of his family were willing and capable/safe to care for Elmer, then DSS would move him to them without too many questions asked.  The fact that I have been caring for him for a year at this point and that I am the only home/mother he has ever known would not matter.


So Elmer had to have a DNA test to see if this person was his biological father. 


Meanwhile, I am torn up and stressed, but trying not to really think about it so that I wouldn't get too stressed.  Trying NOT to think about the "what if's". 


And then I got a text from the JATH saying


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


The man is NOT Elmer's biological father!




An instantaneous wave of relief came over me and I burst into tears.  So glad that I do not have to deal with a new set of unknowns! 


Now we still wait for the county's legal department to file for a TPR (termination of parental rights) trial with the court.  From my understanding, we have been waiting on this very thing since August. 


Patience. 


Patience.