Dear Tank

Dear Tank,

The days leading up to you leaving me, and the day I had to let you go, were torture.  But your aunt called me the day after you left to let me know how you were, and then again a few days later to let me know that your surgery went well.  And I think because of that, the days since you left haven't been nearly as hard as I imagined they would be. 

But I still miss you.

I miss the sweet smile that was constantly on your face.

I miss the way you would open and close your fists, and flex and extend your feet, when you were excited or happy.

I miss your chubby little big wrists and ankles.

I miss the way you would grab my face and bump your forehead against mine and then laugh.

I miss hearing your sweet babble when you woke up in the mornings.

I miss all of your tickle spots - pretty much every inch of your body, but especially your collarbones and your belly.

I miss singing you "The Rainbow Connection" at bedtime. 

I miss your viral-video-worthy laugh when Evie would sing to you.

I miss the way you would light up when I walked into daycare to pick you up, even when you were sick.

I miss how you would dance on your knees while playing your little piano.

I miss how excited you would get when you saw the cat, or any dog.

I miss how you could hold your own bottle, but would let go as soon as I touched it, especially at night.

I miss how you would snuggle into my chest to go to sleep.

I miss how cute you looked in your little monkey or dog matching hat/glove sets.

I miss your infectious laugh and sweet constant smile.

I miss you.

As I write this and tear up, I realize that maybe it hasn't been so hard because I've tried not to think about all these things. 

I have a bag of your stuff that I found after you left, so I hope that I can get to see you soon to give it to you. 

But mostly I hope with everything in me that you are happy and thriving and being loved and snuggled just as much as you were here. 

Love you always,
Mama A