At this point, I think the hardest thing about foster care for me is the not knowing when the next placement call will come.
I expected the uncertainty and the roller coaster while the kids are here. I didn't think about the fact that my life would be uncertain and in a kind of limbo when there wasn't even a child here.
Since I don't have any kids of my own, my life looks very different when I have a placement compared to when I don't. It is somewhat unsettling to think about the fact that my life could completely change today... tonight... tomorrow. My life could be completely different this weekend compared to last weekend.
I might go trick-or-treating next weekend with my nephew Bop or my goddaughter Boo, and be hanging out as the photographer and fun aunt. Or I might have a new child trick-or-treating with us, after scrambling to find a Halloween costume along with everything else that child will need when he arrives.
Even non-foster care involves the not knowing.
I'm finding the waiting hard as well. I've been licensed since early September and still don't have a placement. I don't have kids, so waiting for my life to be turned upside (perhaps in 5 mins, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months) has been difficult. I literally carry my phone every where I go.
ReplyDeleteIt's a crazy feeling, isn't it???
DeleteI'm surprised you don't have a placement yet. I had my first within three days of when I said I was available. I'm sure the waiting for the first placement is a different feeling all together. I can't imagine if mine had gone on for months.