Sunday, June 1, 2014

Settling In

It has been not quite three weeks since Evie arrived, and we are settling in well.  I took her to church the first Sunday after she got here, and then again this morning and realized what a difference that two weeks has made.  The first visit she pretty much just sat there (although she did snuggle in to me and was affectionate even then); today she was much more alert and active. 

She has had no problem with bonding and really is the sweetest thing.  She is constantly thinking about what she can do for her brother and her mom (like when she got a sticker at the doctor's office the other day, she asked if she could have another one for her mom).  She is affectionate with me and has no problem saying, "I love you" but is sometimes reserved with others (which is normal). 

She likes my cat and thinks he is going to protect her if he is in her room when she is going to sleep.  The first few days, he would run from her and I told her it was because he didn't know her.  So then she would say, "Hi, I'm Evie" and then say, "Now he knows my name."  Now he is totally fine with her and follows us around like he used to do to me. 

Despite the rough first week we had with sleeping, she now pretty much goes immediately to sleep at both bedtime and naptime; although she often is up before 6am, which is too early for me to be ok with.  I think I am going to get an "ok to wake" clock (that glows green at a set time when it's ok for them to come out of their room in the morning) and push for at least 6:30.   Once I caught up on sleep from the first week, I still haven't been able to make myself go to bed before 10:30 or 11 most nights.  The hours of 9-11 have always been my most productive, and that's also now my daily "me" time.  I'm handling it ok, and sometimes take a nap when she does to get a little more sleep. 

The hair.  Evie came to me with a head-full of matted hair.  We have brushed, combed, and received ongoing advice from my co-workers about what to do with it.  I got her hair trimmed last weekend (with mom's permission of course) because there were pieces that were long and straight, which made them seem much longer than the rest of her curly hair.  I'm not sure how long the process of moisturizing and brushing/combing is supposed to take each night, but it seems to take much longer than I think it should.  No matter how well I comb it the night before, the next night it is tangled yet again and we go through the painful process of combing again.  I'm thinking that part of the problem is that the hair is not healthy, and hope that things will improve as it grows out again. 

Evie loves to eat, and after the first three or four days has pretty much eaten just about anything I give her without much of a fuss.  She did have some meltdowns in the first few days over vegetables or anything she wasn't familiar with (and so she would declare, "I don't like that" before we even sat down to the table).  In hindsight, I can't decide if I pushed the well-balanced meals and healthier foods on her too soon; or if in doing that, I helped her more easily transition to the different way of eating at my house compared to her house. 

She has adjusted to day care very well, considering that she had never been before.  She really likes it, even though I have some issues.  I did discuss these with the day care director yesterday; we will see how things go as the summer progresses.  One is that the children are watching TV during drop-off/pick-up times from 7:30-8:30am and from 5-6:30pm.  Her reasoning is that there are 2, 3, and 4 year olds in the same room and you can't do lesson plans for them.  My thought is that any age likes play-dough, or crayons and paper, or songs, or to have stories read to them, or to play in centers.  It doesn't have to be structured learning but it can be more than Peppa Pig and Frozen. 

Evie is (what I believe) significantly delayed in academic skills.  Even though her language and gross motor skills seem to be on track, and her fine motor and cognitive skills maybe only slightly limited, I feel that she does not have nearly the academic skills that other 4.5 year olds have.  She doesn't recognize any numbers/letters (so obviously can't write them), I don't think she knows her shapes consistently, she doesn't know what number comes before/after another number, and can't verbally spell her name.  I have looked into getting her into the public 4k program here, but apparently my county bases acceptance primarily on income - and they are telling me it is MY income they are looking at.  That's backward in that it should be: 1) looking at the income of the family she has spent the last year with, and 2) testing her to see if she is already behind in academic skills to try to get her caught up before starting formal kindergarten.  I'm also looking into the Head Start program this week, so we will see if their guidelines are the same. 

She has definitely picked up on lots of things that I have taught her in the last few weeks.  When she came to me, she was brushing her own teeth, but only part of them.  She would brush the vertical surfaces on the front and left side of her mouth REALLY WELL, but wouldn't even touch the right side or the horizontal surfaces.  Now she is doing those things, but still needs help to do them well.  She also is now able to write three of the letters in her name and can tell me what her name starts with (sometimes).  Also, when she came to me, she ALWAYS spilled a significant amount of food/drink on herself when she was eating.  Now even though she still is overall careless and heavy-handed when she eats/drinks (and when she moves any objects) she (mostly) eats over her plate and avoids stains on herself some days. 

My two biggest struggles have been with her CONSTANT questions (a more detailed post on that to come - but I don't think it's just age-appropriate curiosity) and the fact that she continues to talk with her mouth wide open and FULL of food.  We're working on those things, and I'm sure it will all improve as time goes on. 

Watching the turtles in the park pond today
 

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