Things That Will Be Hard as a Single and/or Foster Parent

Here's a list of things that I think will be hard.  One reason I want to have this list is so I can go back later and see if the things I thought would be hard were actually that way; and if there are other things that I should have put on the list but that didn't even occur to me. 

1. Letting those kiddos go: Of course this will be the hardest (and most obvious "hard" thing).  I'm sure I don't even realize how hard yet.  And I know there is no question this will be one thing on this list I will be right about.

2. Losing sleep: I am an absolute night-owl.  I typically go to bed between 11 and 12 on a week night (hence the late night posts  LOL), and get up around 6am for work.  But my body actually needs 8 or 9 hours of sleep a night, so it is a regular occurrence for me to sleep until 10 or 11 or 12 on Saturday mornings to "catch up."  On my "non-sleep-in days" (Fridays and Sundays), I make myself get up by 9 or 9:30; I do fully realize that once there is a child in the house, getting to stay in bed until 9:00 will be considered "sleeping in." 

3. Potty training: I know potty training is rarely easy, but I'm not particularly concerned about training a kid who has been with me for a while before it's time to start.  What I'm more concerned about is having to potty train a 3 1/2 year old who: should have already been trained, will be trying to exert control over his bodily functions since that's one of the only things he will have control over, and who will come from a place with a difficult history.  I've never potty trained a child under the best of circumstances, so I'm a little worried about doing it with some extra challenges.

4. Getting them to eat healthy foods: This one also falls under the category of a child trying to have control over one of the only things he will actually have control over.  I am far from someone who eats only natural, healthy, whole-grain foods (I mean, if I want pasta or bread, whole wheat is just NOT. Gonna. Cut it!), but I do eat fruits and vegetables every day; and it is a very rare occasion that I even buy chicken nuggets, pizza, or French fries to have in the house, or that fast food is a meal option.  So I'm a little concerned about getting a child to eat well when he is going to want to have control and when he is likely coming from a place where junk food was the norm. 

5. Multi-tasking: I do very well with consistency and control with the kids that I work with at my job; but I am one-on-one with them 100% of the time, and my only focus is to work with them.  I have always wondered how things would go with having to take care of a child AND cook dinner, do laundry, shower, etc.  I guess we'll see...

6. Having to slow down: I've always been a go-go-go kind of person; and I like being able to pick up and go at a moment's notice, including road trips.  I know that's all about to change, and I will have to schedule around naps, mealtimes, and bedtimes; and any trip out of town will have to be approved ahead of time. 

7. Dating: I know that the logistics of dating are difficult as a single parent.  I think it will be even more difficult for me than for many other single parents who at least have every other weekend free when the child goes to the other parent's house. 

8. Keeping the clutter from a baby: My house is rarely dirty, but is almost always cluttered.  My method of being able to find things is to leave them lying around.  It is going to be a major challenge to keep the clutter level low enough that a baby can't get into things, but still be able to locate things once I have put them away somewhere. 

9. Coordinating the schedule without a partner to help: I'm going to have to drop off and pick up a child from daycare, get him to the doctor/dentist, and wherever else he needs to go, all by myself.  A foster child is going to have lots of extra "wherever else he needs to go" - court dates, visits with the biological parents, therapy appointments, medical specialist appointments, etc - which will make the logistics even more challenging.

10. Dealing with the biological parents: I am naturally a trusting person and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt unless they show me they are not trustworthy.  I think my tendency with these parents might be to not trust them at all and not give them the benefit of the doubt at all, because of the circumstances that resulted in their kids having to be with me in the first place.  I think there will be a big learning curve for me to find a balance between these two opposite ends of the spectrum. 
                I also tend to take things personally.  It is likely these parents will have a lot of anger, and may direct it toward me, saying and doing things that are not nice.  I am going to have a very hard time not letting my feelings get hurt when this happens. 

11. Not being able to post pictures: I am ALWAYS taking pictures (this has been the case all the way back to middle school); and I love being able to share pictures (I would be the one who would bring a stack of pictures in to school or work to share with people, long before the ease of sharing on Facebook or Dropbox).  I especially love being able to share the cute pictures of my nephew and goddaughter growing up.  Posting pictures of foster children is not allowed, and I'm going to have a REALLY hard time with that one! 

Up next... Things that I'm looking forward to about fostering!