One Year Ago vs. Today

One Year Ago

 

·         Evie was placed in my home, and both of our lives were changed dramatically.

·         The placement worker that called said that the kids may be home by the time Evie’s brother got out of the hospital.

·         I thought Evie would be with me a few weeks to a month or so at most.

·         I was certain that Evie and J would be returned to their mom – it was just a matter of when.

·         Evie came in with a head full of matted hair.  It had not been washed much (if ever) and definitely had never been cut.

·         I had NO CLUE how to care for that hair.

·         Evie was scared to get her hair cut (read: freaked out and screamed because “it’s going to hurt!”)

·         She was scared to death of the Popo. 

·         Evie did not know any of her letters or numbers, or even her shapes and colors consistently.

·         She could not tell you what her first name started with, much less spell it. 

·         Her articulation of words was lacking in many different sounds. 

·         She was scared to jump into the pool.

·         She had no table manners and always ended up a mess when eating.

·         She had no manners in general, and burped and farted without saying, “Excuse me.”

·         She gorged on food and would just eat and eat.

·         Except for vegetables.  She cried when those were on her plate.

 

 

·         Evie was waking up before 6am when the sun barely started coming up.

 

·         She would sit outside my bathroom door while I was taking a shower. 

 

·         I knew very little about the foster care system – I had no clue what the terms “merit hearing”, “foster care review board”, or “permanency planning” were; I didn’t know what the standard protocol was for court hearings, parental visits, etc.
 

·         I typically got six hours of sleep a night with 10-12 hours “catch-up” on Saturday mornings.

 

·         I had no friends in the foster care world.
 

·         A scared four-year-old showed up at my doorstep.

 

 

 

 

Today

 

·         Evie is still here, and my life continues to be very different from a year and a day ago.

·         The caseworker and guardian ad litem are still saying the kids may be home in a few weeks.

·         I know better than to make assumptions about a case.  I’m still working on having less expectations.

·         It wouldn’t surprise me if Mom’s rights are terminated at some point.

·         Evie’s hair is healthy and she is comfortable having it washed.

·         I can now do lots of styles.  I am still experimenting with different products and the best way to care for her hair.

·         She has had it cut one more time and was still pretty anxious about the whole process.

·         The other day, she said, “The police help keep us safe.”

·         She knows all her letters and numbers, can count to fifty or more, and is beginning to read.

·         She can spell and write all four of her names – a total of 24 letters (she has two middle names).

·         She can say all her sounds correctly.

·         She has moved up very quickly to the next class in swim lessons, and the instructor last week said she was “phenomenal.”

·         She still has to be reminded to lean over her plate and chew with her mouth closed at times, but her table manners overall are TONS better than last year.

·         She almost always says, “Excuse me.”

·         She actually has recently started saying that she is full and not finishing everything on her plate at times.

·         She eats most vegetables without complaining, and said she likes broccoli.

 

·         She usually wakes up around 7:15, and, thanks to the “ok to wake” clock, doesn’t come get me out of bed until between 7:30-8:00. 
 

·         She will entertain herself while I get myself ready.
 

·         I now know these terms, but still have so much to learn about the foster care system
 

·         I now get 5-6 hours of sleep a night with 7-8 hours “catch-up” on the weekends.
 

·         I have made some wonderful friends IRL (including TT – my sounding board and many times saving grace; separate post to come soon); and online foster mom friends.
 

·         A mostly-happy, but still sometimes scared, five-year-old still lives at my house.