Music Monday: What Makes You Beautiful

From the first month, this was a song that Evie and I would belt out in the car.  It still is, and has come on several times in the last week to remind me of this.  It's fun that we can come together over music. 

Contact = Stirred Emotions

Here's a rundown of how things have gone with Evie's contact with mom since the beginning of May:
3 visits with mom - cried in her sleep that night for 2 of the 3 visits
talked to mom on phone - woke up that night crying with a "bad dream"
2 nights talked to mom on phone - wet the bed that night (she hasn't wet the bed in many many months); these times were ten days apart from each other
3 conversations on the phone with no bad results

Visits/contact pull the scab off of a healing wound and make it raw over and over again.

Court Date

I found out today that court for Evie's family is set for June 26.  So we are basically at the same point where we were in January before the new issue came up - where everyone was recommending the kids go home, and we were just waiting on the court date and the judge to say that was ok.  The difference is that in January, I was mentally and physically planning for Evie to leave; now, I will believe she's going when the judge makes that decree.  Hopefully her mom can hold it together for the sake of her kids!

Welcome to the Roller Coaster - Review







May is National Foster Care Month.  I had planned to write at least a couple of posts about foster care, and just never got around to it.  So at least I will post a review of this wonderful book.  It can be bought on Amaz*n. 

 

 



This book was written by a group of fourteen foster moms, two of whom I am online friends with.  It's possible that I follow the blogs of some of the others.  I would guess that many of you reading my blog found me through one of those foster moms, in which case you already know about the book. 

But if you have not heard of the book, and you are considering fostering or are a new (or even seasoned) foster parent, you HAVE to read this book.  It would also be eye-opening and helpful to anyone who is in the support system of a foster parent.  Foster care is a whole different world, and this book shows all aspects of the system. 

I have only read a handful of books in the last few years (life has gotten in the way), most taking many months to finish. I read this one cover to cover in a week! I am a fairly new foster parent and can already relate to some of the stories and relationships. It was so great to hear the real-life, in-the-trenches, honest stories of foster care - some with happy endings and some with not-so-happy endings. I cried both tears of joy and heartache for these real foster moms when reading their stories. 

Egocentrism Defined

Evie has had a little bit of a loose tooth for six or more months.  But apparently today, it got loose enough for her to feel it with her tongue.  The first thing she told me when I picked her up from daycare was that she had a loose tooth, and she almost literally didn't stop talking about it until she went to bed.  She said that she was going to tell her teachers and all her friends about her loose tooth when she goes to school tomorrow.

"I'm going to yell outside, 'Everybody!  I have a loose tooth!'  And then they're going to all stand in a circle around me and I'm going to be in the middle, and I'll go around and wiggle my tooth with my tongue for each one of them." 

This child certainly thinks the world revolves around her. 

Just Meant to Be

When I first met TT last August, I was so excited to have another foster parent in my neighborhood.  (And when the licensing worker initially told me about her, although still excited, I was also a little unsure not knowing what kind of person this was.)  In one of my first blog posts mentioning her, I said that she seemed like a positive person - now I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she is.  At that time, I had no clue, though, how beautifully this friendship was going to work out!

When I met TT, we both only had one foster child.  About a month later, I got Tank (although I actually got him from her, and we arranged all the details of the transfer and just got DSS to sign off on it).  Then about a month after that, she got G.  When we both had two children (and even when she had two and I only had one), we were limited in how much we could help each other out because neither one of us owns a car that holds three car seats.  But in the last two months since G left and we both have only had one child, we have spent a lot more time together - both hanging out and helping each other out. 

I was always glad that there was another single foster mom that I could be friends with.  But I didn't realize how rare that was until recently.  I joined an online support group for single foster moms, and there were multiple comments on a post from people saying things like, "I wish I knew a single foster mom here" or "If you [another single foster mom] move here, then you HAVE to contact me so I can have a single foster mom friend!" 

How lucky I am to not only have a single foster mom here in the area, but she's in my NEIGHBORHOOD!  And we've been fostering for about the same amount of time.  And we are around the same age and stage in our lives.  And our personalities are very similar - laid-back and thoughtful.  And we really enjoy hanging out with and talking with each other! 

If any one of those things were not the case, we probably wouldn't be nearly as good friends as we are.  But all the stars aligned, and it was just meant. to. be.

Little Update

Sunshine told me this week that Evie's mom has completed everything that she needs to.  Sunshine has requested a court date, but is unsure how backed up they are.  She said that she expects Evie's mom's lawyer to also request a date, and believes that it may get scheduled more quickly if that happens.  I would like to think that this case will be over soon, but we are back in the same exact spot we were four months ago - with a court date (almost) set, and DSS/Guardian ad litem recommending reunification.  At this point four months ago, I was feeling certain that Evie would be reunited three weeks later at that court date.  Today, I'm not feeling anything like that - I'm not counting on anything until the judge says those kids are going home.