I have always been a babysitter, daycare worker, aunt, therapist, mom, who feels strongly about fostering independence in children. I love snuggling a baby, but also feel that it is important for him to learn to soothe himself when needed and be able to play independently on the floor or exersaucer while I am cooking. I love playing games and doing crafts and having fun with kids, but also feel it is important for them to learn to play independently - spend time having tea parties with their dolls or creatively building with Legos, or looking at a book and making up a story. I absolutely believe children need love and attention but also that they should not have to be held or entertained 24/7.
And now (at least at the current moment) with Elmer, I am the mom I never planned on being. I hold him as much as I can (and often wear him in the carrier when I can't). I often give him the pacifier to help him calm down (I have never liked pacifiers much and think they are VERY over-used). I often jump up very soon after he starts crying to try to help soothe him.
Because that is what he needs. He is not able to regulate his emotions. He is not able to self-soothe. He is often jittery. I am trying to provide him with the comfort and security that he needs, and to provide him with the tools that he needs to self-soothe - and calm him myself until he learns to do so.
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