Planning to Let Go

Tank's GAL (guardian ad litem) called last weekend to find a time to come visit him.  She said that his mom has been testing clean; and that she has been making good progress on her treatment plan, with the expectation that she will be finished with the plan in January. 

There will definitely be grieving when that baby leaves me.  Even before I knew if mom was making any progress or not, I would often tear up looking at that sweet face (especially during bedtime snuggles), thinking, "How am I ever going to let you go?" or "Ohmagosh... I am going to be sooo sad when you go!" or just completely overwhelmed at what a sweet soul I am privileged to be holding in my arms.

But now that I know that Tank will likely be going home sooner than later, I'm really trying to mentally prepare myself for what is to come.  With Evie, I have expected from Day 1 that she would go home to her mom (I actually expected it to be a long time ago, but apparently I am not a good judge of how a case will progress!) so I haven't gotten too attached. 

But Tank doesn't talk to his mom every night.
He doesn't tell me that he loves his mom more than me.
He doesn't say on an almost daily basis that he wants his mom, or that he misses her.
I am not second best to him. 
To him, I am the one he knows as mama. 

Letting go is going to be so hard.