Case Update

Court was June 17th. 


This was both a merits hearing for dad (because he had not shown up the first two times, but court was continued due to the fact that he had a lawyer there), and a permanency planning hearing (to determine what the long-term case plan is). 


As far as the merits hearing, dad was present (maybe not of his own will) and did not contest that DSS was not offering him a treatment plan.  However, they did stipulate that dad could complete treatment on his own. 


As far as permanency planning, DSS recommended the permanency goal be changed to TPR and adoption.  Both parents contested that.  Because it was contested, now there has to be a permanency planning TRIAL for both sides to present testimony and the judge to decide what the permanency plan should be.  (As of right now, I have not heard a trial date.) 


* I did not know that there was a separate permanency planning HEARING and TRIAL.  I do remember a note on one of the previous court notices for another child, saying, "This is scheduled for 15 minutes.  Any contested matters will be continued for trial."  I will say that every time I go to court, I seem to learn something new.  At some point when I feel like I know enough to do so, I want to write a post summarizing the legal process and all of the things that can happen. *


And in the midst of the discussion about permanency planning, the bomb was dropped.  Elmer's mom has named two more relatives that need to be investigated to see if they are feasible placements.  Ugh.  Where were these relatives nine months ago?!  My guess is that they were not willing to take him when there was potential for him to have issues, and now that he is "fine", they are okay with it.  (Or I hope - selfishly - that maybe they are still not okay with it, and mom is just trying to buy time.) 


And it's now a month later, and I haven't heard any more information one way or the other about these other two relatives - if home studies have been completed, what the results were if they have, or if they have declined home studies (as at least one of the other relatives in the past did).

Is One Out of Three Acceptable?

I previously wrote about the start to the adoptions process in this post. I was able to attend the third day of "training" on the first Saturday of May.  (The first two days were already completed when I did my foster care training - this is a day specifically for adoptions, although most of what we went over I already knew from doing foster care.)  One of the discussions during the day was about the fact that when you adopt from foster care, you have to sign an agreement saying you will never use corporal punishment (including spanking) as a form of discipline for that child you adopt.  Although I signed a contract not to use corporal punishment for foster children, and although I don't think I would really use it much anyway as I feel there are many more effective forms of discipline, I was a little surprised to find out that this is dictated for a family even after an adoption has taken place.  The reason is that many of these children have endured physical trauma and/or abuse from their families in their lives, and corporal punishment is likely to trigger major issues for these kids.  But... it just seems that it might be something that no one could truly enforce once an adoption has happened. 


But I digress...


Then in June, Elmer's GAL (guardian ad litem) called saying that she needed to see him before court on the 17th; she gave me only a few days notice, so I had no choice but to have her go see him at daycare.  However, in seven months, she had not ONCE come to the house or seen me interact with Elmer.  I really wanted her to do that so that she could provide first-hand information about where Elmer should end up when it went to the adoptions committee to decide the adoptive family.  So we scheduled a visit for the following week. 


I was off all day on Wednesday, so I ended up scheduling a bunch of different things.  Elmer's adoptions worker (the one who no-showed or cancelled three times) was supposed to come at 9am, the GAL was supposed to come between 9 and 9:30, and the person completing my adoptions home study was supposed to come at 11am.  At 8:55am, the adoptions worker called and said she thought the appointment was at 9:30 and she would need to reschedule; I told her if she could be here by 9:30, to just come on.  I had planned all of these things for a day that I was off, and trying to find a different day that would work would be even harder than adjusting my schedule that day. 


She arrived at 9:30 and was gone by 9:45.  At this point, the GAL still hadn't arrived yet.  I called her to see if she was still planning on coming (as we hadn't set up an exact time), and she said she forgot about it because she had been out sick, but could be here in 20 minutes.  So we waited.  She as well was not here very long.  As soon as she left, I took Elmer to daycare so that I could get back for the adoptions home study.  She was the only of the three appointments that actually showed up on time. 


The adoptions home study was pretty much exactly the same as the foster care home study, except this lady asked a lot more questions that were not in the autobiography packet.  (I don't know if that was a difference between foster and adoption home studies, or just a difference in the two interviewers.)  I also had to ask the foster care home study examiner if she was going to look at the child's room; this adoption examiner asked to see practically every square inch of the house!  The laundry room, the backyard, the bathrooms, the linen closet, on and on. 


She also had to come back a second time as a formality (they said at the foster care home study that they usually come twice, but because I was single, they were able to complete everything they needed to in one visit).  She emailed me July 5th to let me know that she had submitted my home study to DSS that day.  From what I hear, it usually takes about a month for the state to give an answer about the license. 


As a reminder, this adoptions process is on a completely independent and separate timeline from the timeline of Elmer's case.  I actually had her complete the home study as a general one (not specifically for Elmer) so that it would still be valid if things do not end in adoption with Elmer.  (Separate post about Elmer's case coming.) 

Bad Blogger

I have been a bad blogger lately.  I'm going to get back into it.  There is so much stuff to say.


In the meantime, here are Elmer's 8- and 9-month pictures. 

Life Just Got a Lot More Interesting

This is what has been happening this week.  

Enter, baby jail.

He's not really happy to be in the Exersaucer anymore, so I need a way to contain him at times. 

Elmer's been a busy boy this week!

What Has Elmer Become?

Elmer has been turning into all kinds of things lately! 

• Human Garbage Disposal: He is eating all kinds of baby foods, puffs, and small bites of table food.  He has liked EVERYTHING I have given him!  Except spinach.  He will bang the table and/or whine/fuss between each bite to get more. 
• Houdini: See that strap by his feet?  I was tucking the excess under the car seat so he wouldn't chew on it, since the strap touches the ground when I put the car seat down.  Well, he has now figured out how to move his feet around on top of it to wiggle the strap out, so he can lift it up with his feet and grab it with his hands to chew on it! 
  
• Wiggle Worm: He is moving EVERYWHERE!  He can get up on his hands and knees, move from the floor to sitting up by himself, and is constantly moving!
  
• Albert Einstein: He will purposefully put his bib over his face, and then pull it down when I say, "Where did you go?"  Most seven-month olds will pull a blanket off of their face to play peek-a-boo, but I think it's pretty advanced to independently put something over his face to start the game. 
• My Offspring: We were at the doctor's office yesterday, and another patient's mom said, "Aww, he looks JUST like you!"  

Things That Have Been Said About Elmer by Strangers This Weekend

• He looks like a baby model!
• Hi!  Oh wow!  That is a big smile!
• He's so happy!  Is he always this happy?  [Pretty much.]
• He looks like the Gerber baby.
• When a baby comes through here that is calm like that, it makes me want to have kids.  (said by the teenaged grocery store cashier)

Meet Elmer

For anyone new to the blog, this is 7-month old Elmer. 

7-month old with a high-risk history who has just started getting up on his hands and knees, and who has just learned to purposefully put his bib up over his face and pull it back down to play peek-a-boo. 

7-month old who is now one of the most "chill" babies I have ever seen, but once was a 6-week old who was never fully settled. 

7-month old who smiles all. the. time. but whose adorable smile I can't show you.  :(

Elmer is the fifth foster child that has been placed with me.  He is the first one that has had a primary plan of adoption.  The next step is another merits hearing that will be scheduled for dad in June sometime (he has not showed up for the first two).  The caseworker thinks they will be asking for recommendation of TPR (termination of parental rights) as well during that court date.  This case is going on way too long for one where the parents aren't even being given a treatment plan.