Getting a call at 4:30 and responding that you will accept the placement. Being told that the caseworker will call with more information. The caseworker does not call, but finally shows up at the door at 8:30 with the child. This is foster care. (At least the child is the age that I was told... I've heard stories of a 6 year old showing up when they said they would accept a 2 year old!)
A little 22-month old who is scared to walk into a house. Hugsy (the new little boy) resisted walking into both my mom's house and daycare on Monday morning (which was converted from a house), and made me pick him up. The last time you walked into a house with the person you were most familiar with (the investigative caseworker), she left you with a complete stranger and didn't come back, so you don't really trust walking into a strange house anymore. This is foster care.
Hugsy crying in his sleep, which then wakes up Elmer, who points to the crib and says, "Happy...happy!" (wanting Hugsy to be Happy). Elmer crying because I have to go take food off of the stove, which then wakes Hugsy up. And then finally just putting a comforter in the middle of their floor and lying down with one on either side so they would both go back to sleep. This is foster care.
Less than 72 hours after the child arrives, the caseworker picks him up and takes him back home after the probable cause hearing because the judge rules that there was NOT probable cause to remove the children. This is foster care. (At least I was told they were picking him up and was able to say goodbye.)
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Correction to TPR date
Remember when I posted that Elmer's TPR trial date was going to be June 16th? I was wrong. That is his TPR HEARING date. So if either of his parents show up and contest DSS's recommendation to terminate rights, then there will have to be a separate court date to have a TPR TRIAL (I'm guessing probably 3-6 months later, based on recent history of how things have progressed with mine and other cases). If the parents don't show up, the caseworker said they may be able to proceed with having the trial on June 16th and terminating rights.
I had gotten excited thinking that we actually may have an adoption date this calendar year, but now it's looking again like we probably won't.
I had gotten excited thinking that we actually may have an adoption date this calendar year, but now it's looking again like we probably won't.
Friday, May 5, 2017
Calls Galore
It has been a heck of a roller coaster day!!
Around 1:30 I got a call from foster care placement saying they had a disrupted foster home - the foster parent was being investigated and the kids removed - and needed to place six children. I recently gave my twin bed to Bop because his mattress was VERY old and lumpy. So I told her I could take one if they could go in a crib. She had a two-year old she needed to place, and I said I could take him. A little over an hour later, she called back and said that she was able to find a home that could take both the 2-year old and his sibling, so he would not be placed with me. BUT she has a 4-year old she would like to place with me. I said no since I did not have a bed and a 4-year old is likely to outgrow a toddler bed very quickly.
Then about 45 minutes after that (around 4:30), she called back again, saying she needed to place a 22 month old boy. I again said that I could take him, and he finally arrived just after 8:30.
I asked if he needed to eat, and she said that yes, he did. (Um, was this child seriously in custody for four hours - surrounding dinnertime - and no one had fed him?! I'm hoping this was not the case, but...) I gave him some graham crackers and he just stared at them, picked them up (many times), tried to feed them to me, and a couple of times put one in his mouth but then acted like he didn't know what to do with it. So then I gave him some yogurt. He opened his mouth for that, but then made a face once the yogurt was in, like he didn't like it; but then he ate 6 or 7 bites of that, making a face every time it hit his tongue but otherwise seeming to like it. He did drink some juice, and eventually started tearing up in the high chair so I got him down.
He was overall clean except his feet were dirty and stunk (because he was wearing sandals), so I just gave him a quick swipe with a soapy washcloth (except I did scrub the feet!) and then put his pajamas on. We walked back downstairs, and I held him on the couch in the mostly dark room, hoping he would go to sleep. Well, he sat on my lap without hardly moving for at least 15 minutes but never even seemed like he was going to doze off. My leg was falling asleep so I decided to try to put him in the pack n play (which I had temporarily put in my room, since Elmer was already asleep when they arrived and I had no clue if the new one was going to scream throughout the night). He laid down without crying and I laid on the bed. He laid there for about 30 minutes with me, playing with the stuffed dog I had given him, or tapping the canvas side of the pack n play, but never went to sleep. I finally sneaked out of the room and if he noticed, he did not cry. That was a little over an hour ago, and I am going to go up there to bed now. I did check a few times and didn't hear anything coming from my room, but we will see if he is actually asleep when I go up.
We will see how the "Twins" interact tomorrow!
Around 1:30 I got a call from foster care placement saying they had a disrupted foster home - the foster parent was being investigated and the kids removed - and needed to place six children. I recently gave my twin bed to Bop because his mattress was VERY old and lumpy. So I told her I could take one if they could go in a crib. She had a two-year old she needed to place, and I said I could take him. A little over an hour later, she called back and said that she was able to find a home that could take both the 2-year old and his sibling, so he would not be placed with me. BUT she has a 4-year old she would like to place with me. I said no since I did not have a bed and a 4-year old is likely to outgrow a toddler bed very quickly.
Then about 45 minutes after that (around 4:30), she called back again, saying she needed to place a 22 month old boy. I again said that I could take him, and he finally arrived just after 8:30.
I asked if he needed to eat, and she said that yes, he did. (Um, was this child seriously in custody for four hours - surrounding dinnertime - and no one had fed him?! I'm hoping this was not the case, but...) I gave him some graham crackers and he just stared at them, picked them up (many times), tried to feed them to me, and a couple of times put one in his mouth but then acted like he didn't know what to do with it. So then I gave him some yogurt. He opened his mouth for that, but then made a face once the yogurt was in, like he didn't like it; but then he ate 6 or 7 bites of that, making a face every time it hit his tongue but otherwise seeming to like it. He did drink some juice, and eventually started tearing up in the high chair so I got him down.
He was overall clean except his feet were dirty and stunk (because he was wearing sandals), so I just gave him a quick swipe with a soapy washcloth (except I did scrub the feet!) and then put his pajamas on. We walked back downstairs, and I held him on the couch in the mostly dark room, hoping he would go to sleep. Well, he sat on my lap without hardly moving for at least 15 minutes but never even seemed like he was going to doze off. My leg was falling asleep so I decided to try to put him in the pack n play (which I had temporarily put in my room, since Elmer was already asleep when they arrived and I had no clue if the new one was going to scream throughout the night). He laid down without crying and I laid on the bed. He laid there for about 30 minutes with me, playing with the stuffed dog I had given him, or tapping the canvas side of the pack n play, but never went to sleep. I finally sneaked out of the room and if he noticed, he did not cry. That was a little over an hour ago, and I am going to go up there to bed now. I did check a few times and didn't hear anything coming from my room, but we will see if he is actually asleep when I go up.
We will see how the "Twins" interact tomorrow!
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Elmer at 18 months
Well, Elmer is now 19 months old, but this should be mostly accurate as of 18 months since I actually made notes without writing the whole post! I'm going to write it from the point of when he was 18 months.
- He weighed 23 pounds (33rd %ile) and was 32 inches (34th %ile) at his 18-month checkup. Two hours later at WIC, he was 31 inches (9th %ile)! I trust the WIC measurement more, though, because they used the slider measurement device, rather than just marking on the paper on the exam table.
- He is so smart!
At 18 months, he said more than 80 words on his own, and keeps adding more every day!
He connects concepts and has a really good memory.
One day while climbing the stairs, he picked up a piece of debris, and I said, "Oh, yeah, I need to vacuum." Then when he got to the top of the stairs, he began grunting and motioning toward the vacuum cleaner. The time between those two things was enough that I had already forgotten what I said on the stairs and had to take a minute to figure out why he was pointing to the vacuum cleaner! There was also a couple of weeks that we had been to the pediatrician several times. On one of these visits, I had pointed out the fish's big eyes on the mural in one of the treatment rooms. Ten days later, when we were there again, I drew an eyeball on the magn-doodle and said, "eye." He quickly turned to the mural on the wall, looking for the fish's eye! We were in a different room with a different mural, so it wasn't there.
- We are doing "Mommy and Me" gymnastics class every week, and he loves it! The first class we went to, the teacher thought we were making up the class from a different day rather than it being his first time because he was so cooperative.
- He loves to help me! He will put the laundry into the dryer when I pass it to him, scoops out and dumps the cat's food, and throws things in the trash when I ask him. One day he also helped me clean out and organize the pantry - he put things in the right piles as I told him, or took things to the trash can.
- He feeds himself with spoon and fork pretty consistently, and usually does a good job with it. Sometimes I have tried to feed him so we can do it quickly or not end up with oatmeal in his hair, but he CRIES and points to his high chair, or goes to the silverware drawer to get his own spoon. I guess I can't hold down independence!
- Speaking of independence, he has hit the Terrible Twos early! When I tell him to do something he doesn't want to, he will say, "NO!" and hit at me. He also has started throwing some tantrums. {Thankfully by 19 months, this has improved a good bit!}
- He imitates EVERYTHING! For example, I was vacuuming the blinds and he picked up one of the vacuum attachments and started doing it, too. He pays attention to even the very little things and imitates - like when I licked my finger to turn some magazine pages, he did the exact same thing! And every little movement my six-year old nephew Bop does, he does too. Bop fell down on the floor on top of a book and rolled around kicking his legs; Elmer found a book to put on the floor and did the exact same thing. When we were at a baseball game, Bop walked over to the fence; so did Elmer. Bop squatted down on one knee while holding the fence; Elmer did the exact same thing.
- He LOVES balls of all types and sizes. Anything that is remotely round is a "ball" - eggs, a pregnant lady, my chest! LOL One day I got a watermelon and a cantaloupe at the grocery store. From the minute I put them in the cart, he kept saying, "Ball! Ball!" He was DEVASTATED when I put them on the counter at home and wouldn't let him play with the new balls we had! He also has quite the arm and leg for throwing and kicking.
- I have learned when brushing his teeth that I need to give him his own toothbrush because otherwise, we are fighting over the one toothbrush. He has gotten pretty good at brushing his teeth.
- He has started trying to jump, and occasionally gets both feet off the ground at the same time to really jump.
- He discovered his shadow! When he first saw it outside, I was trying to get him to make the connection that it was his body and was showing him how to wave and make his shadow move, while saying, "Hi." He spend the next couple of weeks almost obsessively saying, "Hi" to his shadow on the floor, wall, or wherever else (and sometimes when there really was no shadow but he was expecting one).
- One of his favorite activities these days is to sit on the curb outside and re-arrange the leaves that have gathered in the corner.
Elmer is growing and developing so quickly. I continue to be truly amazed at all of the things that he is able to do, and the fact that he is age-appropriate with everything (and ahead of his age for most things). My sweet baby is such a joy!
- He weighed 23 pounds (33rd %ile) and was 32 inches (34th %ile) at his 18-month checkup. Two hours later at WIC, he was 31 inches (9th %ile)! I trust the WIC measurement more, though, because they used the slider measurement device, rather than just marking on the paper on the exam table.
- He is so smart!
At 18 months, he said more than 80 words on his own, and keeps adding more every day!
He connects concepts and has a really good memory.
One day while climbing the stairs, he picked up a piece of debris, and I said, "Oh, yeah, I need to vacuum." Then when he got to the top of the stairs, he began grunting and motioning toward the vacuum cleaner. The time between those two things was enough that I had already forgotten what I said on the stairs and had to take a minute to figure out why he was pointing to the vacuum cleaner! There was also a couple of weeks that we had been to the pediatrician several times. On one of these visits, I had pointed out the fish's big eyes on the mural in one of the treatment rooms. Ten days later, when we were there again, I drew an eyeball on the magn-doodle and said, "eye." He quickly turned to the mural on the wall, looking for the fish's eye! We were in a different room with a different mural, so it wasn't there.
- We are doing "Mommy and Me" gymnastics class every week, and he loves it! The first class we went to, the teacher thought we were making up the class from a different day rather than it being his first time because he was so cooperative.
- He loves to help me! He will put the laundry into the dryer when I pass it to him, scoops out and dumps the cat's food, and throws things in the trash when I ask him. One day he also helped me clean out and organize the pantry - he put things in the right piles as I told him, or took things to the trash can.
- He feeds himself with spoon and fork pretty consistently, and usually does a good job with it. Sometimes I have tried to feed him so we can do it quickly or not end up with oatmeal in his hair, but he CRIES and points to his high chair, or goes to the silverware drawer to get his own spoon. I guess I can't hold down independence!
- Speaking of independence, he has hit the Terrible Twos early! When I tell him to do something he doesn't want to, he will say, "NO!" and hit at me. He also has started throwing some tantrums. {Thankfully by 19 months, this has improved a good bit!}
- He imitates EVERYTHING! For example, I was vacuuming the blinds and he picked up one of the vacuum attachments and started doing it, too. He pays attention to even the very little things and imitates - like when I licked my finger to turn some magazine pages, he did the exact same thing! And every little movement my six-year old nephew Bop does, he does too. Bop fell down on the floor on top of a book and rolled around kicking his legs; Elmer found a book to put on the floor and did the exact same thing. When we were at a baseball game, Bop walked over to the fence; so did Elmer. Bop squatted down on one knee while holding the fence; Elmer did the exact same thing.
- He LOVES balls of all types and sizes. Anything that is remotely round is a "ball" - eggs, a pregnant lady, my chest! LOL One day I got a watermelon and a cantaloupe at the grocery store. From the minute I put them in the cart, he kept saying, "Ball! Ball!" He was DEVASTATED when I put them on the counter at home and wouldn't let him play with the new balls we had! He also has quite the arm and leg for throwing and kicking.
- I have learned when brushing his teeth that I need to give him his own toothbrush because otherwise, we are fighting over the one toothbrush. He has gotten pretty good at brushing his teeth.
- He has started trying to jump, and occasionally gets both feet off the ground at the same time to really jump.
- He discovered his shadow! When he first saw it outside, I was trying to get him to make the connection that it was his body and was showing him how to wave and make his shadow move, while saying, "Hi." He spend the next couple of weeks almost obsessively saying, "Hi" to his shadow on the floor, wall, or wherever else (and sometimes when there really was no shadow but he was expecting one).
- One of his favorite activities these days is to sit on the curb outside and re-arrange the leaves that have gathered in the corner.
Elmer is growing and developing so quickly. I continue to be truly amazed at all of the things that he is able to do, and the fact that he is age-appropriate with everything (and ahead of his age for most things). My sweet baby is such a joy!
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