PB

Last Wednesday at around midnight, I received a voicemail for a placement of a 1-year old and 5-year old.  I called the placement worker back on Wednesday morning and said that I could take the 1-year old if she hadn't found placement.  She had found someone to take them for the night, but was still looking for a permanent place for them.  She said the plan was for me to take the 1-year old if she couldn't find a permanent place for the two together, which she ended up being able to do. 

But when another one-year old came into care on Thursday, I think I was probably one of the first people she contacted since I had just said I would take a one-year old the day before.  I said I could take him, and around 5:45 that afternoon, "PB" (for "Peek-a-Boo" because he loves to play peekaboo and just laughs when he does) arrived from a county 1 1/2 hours away.  He is three months younger than Elmer but just as active. 

When I was getting the boys ready for bed, he climbed INTO the pack n play, which I figured did not bode well for him staying in it during the night.  And when it was bedtime and I walked out of the room, as suspected, he immediately climbed out of the pack n play and tried to open the bedroom door.  I did end up getting him settled that night into the pack n play, and he slept all night, but decided that even though he was only 17 months old, he would have to go into a toddler bed the next night.  One of my patients' moms had just given me a toddler bed a week or two before, so I was able to get it set up the next day.  He has mostly stayed in the bed, although getting to sleep has been a little rough (he usually tosses and turns for about 20-30 minutes, and often cries off and on as well). 

The boys have gotten along pretty well.  The first few days, they REALLY fought over toys, including some pushing, hitting, hair pulling, and biting; but this has improved in the last few days. 

PB didn't cry (except for bedtime) for pretty much the first two days.  Now he cries A LOT!  He is very easily frustrated and angered when he does not get his way (or even when he does not get something he wants IMMEDIATELY when he wants it), and jumps and throws himself on the floor.  This morning it was because I made him back up a little so I could get the gate open at the top of the stairs for us all to be able to go down them.  He doesn't say any words, other than "mama," so I'm sure this has something to do with his frustration level. 

He is really really cute, and smiles and laughs at times (especially when playing peekaboo), but is also very emotionally labile (totally as expected for this age). 

This Tuesday, PB coughed in his sleep so much that he ended up throwing up a little, so on Wednesday afternoon I took him to the After-hours pediatric clinic.  They said there was fluid on his ears, but no infection - yet.  (And then when we were at the pediatrician's office this morning, he said the ears were "about" to get infected so wrote a prescription for antibiotic.  Elmer was also checked on Wednesday (because he had had a low-grade fever on Tuesday afternoon), and both ears were infected again! First in 2 1/2 months, but still very frustrating.  So we have had a rough couple of nights sleeping-wise!

Overall, we are settling in!  I talked to the caseworker today, who doesn't have a whole lot of information.  But I have a feeling he will be here for a good while. 

Time Will Tell

I'm not sure what exactly is going on.  I talked with Sunshine yesterday, and she said Mom has (supposedly) been doing what she was supposed to.  And that she will be going out to the house to make sure it is still acceptable.  She said she anticipates a court date in the next few weeks.  Or that there might not even be a court date - that "they" (I'm not exactly sure who the almighty "they" are) may just be able to all sign off on the order to return the kids home.  And that she would let me know when she knows more so I can start packing Evie's things. 

Talking to Sunshine, you would think Evie is certainly going home in the next few weeks.  Me?  I'm VERY skeptical.  Considering what happened the last time at the last minute before the kids were supposed to go home, I don't know that Mom has it in her to keep it together for long enough to get her kids back.  I also don't think that anyone needs to be making the decision to send them back home without a court date and a judge hearing the situation.  I'm certainly not packing much before a definite decision has been made (both because there's only so much that can be packed before Evie realizes something is going on and starts asking questions - she's very sharp; and because I don't want to waste my time OR get my hopes up that she will actually be reunified).

Do I think the kids should be reunified with Mom?  I can see both sides.  Emotionally, these kids NEED their mom, and I feel that she can meet their emotional needs.  It is very obvious that she loves Evie and J, and she is very attentive to them.  But there are almost certainly some mental health issues, and she has not been able to meet all of their physical needs in the past.  I guess I think Mom should be given another chance to parent her kids, with some VERY close monitoring for the next 6-12 months. 

Foster Care Review Board is this Wednesday, and I'm sure they will recommend termination again like they did six months ago.  And I'm sure Mom won't be there again (OFM said that is what Mom told her).  But I'm very curious what new information I will learn there.  There were so many things that came up last time that I had no clue about. 

And then only time will tell what the end result of this case will be. 

Two More Months

I originally was under the impression that Evie would be with me at least eight weeks after the last minute screw-up.  I found out this week that it will be at least three months from that point, so court will not be held until sometime in May at the very earliest.  And I'm not sure what normally happens for first-time screw-ups like this, but I know that if I were the judge, I would say that the mom had to prove herself for more than those three months before she could get her kids back.

There has also been some discussion about Evie possibly moving to be with her brother in his foster home.  We could do this at any time (I even discussed with the caseworker and she felt like Evie's joy over being with her brother would more than make up for any negatives surrounding the move), but I have decided it would not be good for her to move in the middle of the school year, since she would have to change schools and she LOVES her school and teacher so much. 

So if the kids are still in care when school gets out, I think we will look at getting them back together in one home.  It can't be mine since I only have one bed (my second slot is for a crib infant).  And if they are still in care in June, that will probably mean that court was already held and the judge decided NOT to send them home at that time.  Plus, if the case ends up going to adoption, OFM (Other Foster Mom) said she would adopt both of them, so it would be best for Evie to be in that home before rights are terminated.  *Side note: For a long time, I said I was certain that Evie would go back to her mom; it was just a matter of when.  Now... I'm just not so sure.  It wouldn't surprise me if the case ended in termination.  Or if they were reunited and then returned to care at some point.  I hope that's not true for the kids' sake, but only time will tell.