When I first met TT last August, I was so excited to have another foster parent in my neighborhood. (And when the licensing worker initially told me about her, although still excited, I was also a little unsure not knowing what kind of person this was.) In one of my first blog posts mentioning her, I said that she seemed like a positive person - now I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she is. At that time, I had no clue, though, how beautifully this friendship was going to work out!
When I met TT, we both only had one foster child. About a month later, I got Tank (although I actually got him from her, and we arranged all the details of the transfer and just got DSS to sign off on it). Then about a month after that, she got G. When we both had two children (and even when she had two and I only had one), we were limited in how much we could help each other out because neither one of us owns a car that holds three car seats. But in the last two months since G left and we both have only had one child, we have spent a lot more time together - both hanging out and helping each other out.
I was always glad that there was another single foster mom that I could be friends with. But I didn't realize how rare that was until recently. I joined an online support group for single foster moms, and there were multiple comments on a post from people saying things like, "I wish I knew a single foster mom here" or "If you [another single foster mom] move here, then you HAVE to contact me so I can have a single foster mom friend!"
How lucky I am to not only have a single foster mom here in the area, but she's in my NEIGHBORHOOD! And we've been fostering for about the same amount of time. And we are around the same age and stage in our lives. And our personalities are very similar - laid-back and thoughtful. And we really enjoy hanging out with and talking with each other!
If any one of those things were not the case, we probably wouldn't be nearly as good friends as we are. But all the stars aligned, and it was just meant. to. be.
It's so great that you've been able to establish that support system and have found a single foster mama to bond with! I'm trying to establish those same connections now and have begun texting another single, childless foster mom from my PRIDE training classes to see where she is in the process. I hope to find a friend like you've found in TT. I also joined a single foster mama group on fb and it's so interesting to get their perspectives on fostering (both the challenges and joys).
ReplyDeleteCheers, Kim.