On the Night You Were Born

When I went to the Amaz*n site to get this thumbnail, it told me that I bought this book in July 2013, which was right after I started the foster care licensing process.  I had seen the book in a store and knew I just had to have it to read to my foster children.  The essence of the book is that all of the world celebrated the uniqueness of that child on the night he was born. 

On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, "Life will never be the same."  Because there had never been anyone like you... ever in the world.

The message I take out of it for my foster kids is that no matter what the situation was when they were came into this world, no matter what abuse or neglect they endured... the world  - and God - was still celebrating that child's birth... even if possibly their parents weren't. 

I cried the other night reading this book to Elmer.  Because his mother couldn't have known what a gift she was bringing into this world that night.  Because despite that, I know that the world rejoiced at his presence.  And because I wish that I could have been there to celebrate him then, too. 

Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born.



Relatives and Court

I had gotten a text a few weeks ago saying that Elmer's parents had named a relative that may take him. 


On Friday, January 8, I received a phone call from the guardian ad litem (GAL) asking how Elmer was doing.  I'm sure it was no coincidence that court was the following Monday. 




Side note: From what I have read on others' blogs, I believe in some states the GAL is a lawyer.  In this state, the GAL is a volunteer from the community who is supposed to talk to everyone and determine what is in the best interest of the child. 


She told me that the relative that was possibly going to take Elmer had backed out, and so she wasn't sure that court would even be held. 


I showed up anyway on Monday, January 11, and his mom was there.  In the list of things in the agreement, I noticed that it did not include the standard "will maintain stable housing, submit to random drug screens, attend parenting classes, etc".  I found out on Friday, January 15 when JATH visited our home that was because Elmer's parents were not going to have a treatment plan.  I was a little blown away by that, as it seems parents often get way too many chances, but I am not sure if the parents declined a treatment plan or if DSS would not offer one. 


In court, I also learned that a homestudy would be done on one of Elmer's relatives.  At first, I thought this was the same relative who was going to take him from the NICU and then changed their mind.  At JATH's visit, I learned that this is now a different relative.  Even so, all I can think is, "Where has this person been for the last almost three and a half months?!"  And I'm still not clear on if this is a different relative from the one the GAL thought had backed out, or if the GAL was just mistaken in thinking they had backed out. 


JATH told me on Friday that they are still trying to get in touch with the relative to set up the homestudy.  They did not call it an "expedited" homestudy, so I think DSS has 60 days to complete it?  So now we just wait and see what happens.

Friday Favorites

I'm trying a link-up this week! 



One.

First up, my Tigers!  I was so excited to see them go to the National Championship game!  My sister Red and I got a sitter and went to a friend's house to watch the game.  It was the perfect environment for game-watching - all Tiger fans, loud, 80-inch TV (among five other TV's), good food and good company.  I was hoping to "Party Like it's 1981" but those boys gave it their all and made it a great game to watch.  Nothing to be ashamed of in that performance.  And we'll be back.

Two.

Sleep!  I'm crossing my fingers that we have found the formula to getting Elmer to sleep all night.  I started giving him bigger bottles during the day, so I think he is more full to sleep at night.  (I had been hesitant to increase the bottle size with the amount that he spits up, but it doesn't seem to be any more now than with smaller bottles.)  This morning, it was glorious to see "Sleep Goal Met" (8 hours) on my F!tb!t.  Granted, it was a five-hour stretch and a three-hour stretch added up, but I can't remember the last time I slept a total of eight hours in a night! 

Three.

Meeting milestones!  Elmer rolled all the way from his back to his stomach one time this week for me, but had his arm under him and pushed himself right back over to his back.  But the daycare says he has been rolling over to his stomach a lot there.  Less than four months old for rolling is a SUPER age to meet that milestone.  Since he is high risk for developmental delay due to his history, I'm so glad that he is meeting milestones early. 

Four.

Belly laughs!  Elmer has started belly laughing, and there is no more precious sound than that.  You can't help but laugh along when it happens. 

Five.

Adoption Day!  TT got a date for Twin's adoption.  I'm so excited for the two of them!  



More Than Just Luck

I was talking to the daycare director the other day, and she was saying how happy Elmer was.  She said, "You got lucky with him." 


I do believe that some of it is luck.  He is such a good-natured, sweet baby.


But some of it is NOT luck.  There have been definite changes in Elmer from Day 1 until now, and I believe a lot of the reason for that is that I am doing many things right. 


Meeting sensory needs, and developmental activities, and snuggling, and swaddling, and smiling/laughing, and loving. 


I will concede that I lucked out with the first three children I had because they were all so good from the beginning.  But I have seen such changes in Elmer that I believe this is more than just luck.

Update

The week of Christmas, I got a text from Elmer's caseworker (blog name JATH - Joined at the Hip, as she always comes to home visits with a specific one of the other caseworkers) asking if she could come pick him up the next day for a visit with his parents.  (Less than two weeks before, she told me that the parents had had no contact with DSS yet.)  I was working and couldn't go to the visit, so I asked her to touch base with me to let me know how the visit went and also what was going on with the parents; I did not hear back from her until today. 


Court is on Monday.  (My understanding is that it is a merits hearing; she keeps calling it a "trial."  So I don't know exactly what to expect.)  I plan to go - even with Sunshine (the most communicative caseworker we have had), I learned SO MUCH new information at court. 


JATH also told me today (via text) that the parents "have named a relative that may be willing to take Elmer in."  So we will see what happens with that. 

Memo

To: Elmer
From: Resort Management Staff


Earlier this week, we sent out a memo that our sleeping schedule had changed to 9:00pm to 6:30am.  We assumed you received this memo as you were compliant for five nights in a row.  However, last night it appears we may have inadvertently sent out an additional memo to return to the schedule from when you first arrived of awaking every four hours.  If so, please disregard that memo and be advised that the correct sleeping schedule is 9:00pm to 6:30am.  Dining is no longer available between the hours of 10pm and 6am.  We appreciate your attention to this matter. 

The Ornament

I bought Elmer a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. 


I am packing up ornaments and trying to decide what to do with it - put it in the box with the rest of my Christmas ornaments or put it in a separate place with "his" stuff. 


Either way, if he leaves, the ornament will go with him because I got it for HIM.  But I think I'm going to put it in my box on faith that he will still be here next year. 


That may be a huge mistake, but sometimes you just have to believe in something.